Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.

The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!

Sunday, April 22, 2012

386 Owwww

Owwwww.  I might take back what I said about this time around not being as bad. You know the moleskin? Great stuff--it's like a self-adhesive bandaid, and it DID help a lot, but it leaves a sticky residue. I peeled off some of the residue. It wasn't residue--just skin. Okay, that is waaay too much information, but I just had to throw that in. I can't wait for the next one. I want to train better and RUN it!  There were so many people out there who weren't afraid to run super slow--and they finished way ahead of me. 

There is one person that I really hope finished. She was quite heavy, and a lot of her weight was in her thighs (there were a number who were older and heavier than me and they were still running) and she was wearing a very short little pink skort. She was ahead of me running slowly and all I can think is that she must have been chafing like crazy. It's one thing to cover 13 miles, its another thing entirely to chafe for 13 miles.  I hope she made it. She was out there, she was going and that race wasn't cheap. I hope she got her medal because she was one who really deserved it.

Today I ate a light lunch so I could eat fajitas tonight and not worry too much about the portions. It's been dry the last few days and hopefully the sticker bush is dry enough now to burn--I want to roast marshmellows outside and have smores. I want to overeat---but I don't really want to overeat. I want to be content with what makes my body happy.

Today I'm grateful for:
Dave--who is acting as legs for me and Catherine today
Catherine, who was hurt but finished the race with me yesterday anyway. SO proud of her.
Laughing cow cheese
All kinds of cheese
fresh water, as much as I want all the time
Good people, who work hard and bring joy to the world.
Naan bread and the internet which opens the world to me.
That I CAN have fajitas and smores and be perfectly on track.

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