Today is another good day. Today I feel as though maybe I have made a little progress after all. I have a nice on-track day all planned, and then in come my co-workers with muffins, bagels, cake and fruit. I'm never overly full on ww and I LOVE bagels--but today for once, I felt as though I had a choice. I felt as though I could have the bagels and muffins if I wanted--I can--if I just want to maintain. Lots of my skinny co-workers did--and that's fine--they will either maintain, gain a little or work it off. I really don't want to maintain today so I chose not to eat the bagels and muffins even though they looked great.
This feeling is so different. In the past my feeling has always been that I'm supposed to skip the goodies because I'm fat. So the choice was either skip it--which makes me feel deprived and angry or eat it out of rebellion which makes me feel empowered and satisfied but also discouraged because clearly I'm never going to lose the weight. It's an empowering feeling to know that I really can have the bagel. Just like any other skinny person--I said no because I just didn't want to deal with the work bagels and muffins entail.
I'm getting there---no resentment or deprivation today. Just a little normal choice like thousands of other little normal choices in all aspects of life.
Today I'm grateful for:
Big bagels with veggie cream cheese--will be having one of those for the marathon b-fast
That the world is full of fantastic food
New receipes--tonight will be trying HG onion rings
That God is in charge (I'm often grateful for this, but don't say so nearly enough)
That my daughter is not only smart and beautiful but a wonderful person too.
My spoiled cats and a fenced backyard