Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.

The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

374 a better day

All right. Today IS a better day. Thank goodness bad moods don't last forever. The family dinner went SUPER well!!! Dinner was high point naturally (this is my family), but I ate a reasonable amount and only 2 cookies then donated the rest of the cookies to my sister. Today I'm actually counting points and it isn't soooooo awful. Somedays I feel like I can eat quite a lot on ww points, other days I feel as though I can't eat anything. Today is a good example of what I think it should be. There is plenty--true, I'd prefer to eat a lot more, but I can see that it's enough. Here's what a good day looks like for me.

banana with PB2 peanut butter
thin bagel with fat free cream cheese
3 strips of bacon
20 cal hot chocolate with lite whipped cream
5 cal cran-grape juice

Walk to work--uphill about a mile or so.

Hungry by 10.
Snack---baby carrots (unsatisfying, but at least gives my mouth something to do.

Frozen Healthy choice tortellini and beans (7 points)
cabbage salad with lite dressing and six olives.

Wellness time at work--walk steep uphill to gym and lift weights for about 1/2 hour--maybe a little eliptical if there's time.

Walk home

Hungry girl version of sweet and sour chicken--not bad!
Homemade kimchee (if it's still good)
1/2 cup of brown rice
6 frozen chicken wonton things.
A reeses egg!!

Total is a perfect 36 points. Of course I would have liked to have had milk with breakfast and a big snack now, and some chocolate after lunch and more olives on my salad, and some big munchie snack in the afternoon, and more rice, more wontons and a couple of cookies with more milk for dessert--but even I can see that all that food isn't necessary. I can give my poor digestive system a break.

Today I'm thankful for all the lighter foods that are out there to help me. I like PB2, and Ken's lite steak dressing, and diet hotchocolate and lite whipped cream. A BIG improvement from the 1970's when all there really was was carob instead of chocolate. Blech.

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