Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.

The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!

Thursday, May 31, 2012

425 a good breakfast

I made it through yesterday on track--luckily the Mary Kay party just had doughnut holes (a so so treat in my book) and I left (after an hour and a half!) before they even opened the boxes. Because I was so hungry yesterday, I'm having a "simply filling" day today. I started with a really good breakfast of bacon (2 pts) eggs, an english muffin, milk and juice. Lunch will be as much meatloaf as I want (which paradoxically might not be that much--I want a good scale result tomorrow), some rolls, yogurt, a pickle and a jello pudding snack for dessert. Dinner will be turkey burgers and oven fries and watermelon. Timing has been hard--Happily, Nanette, my harp teacher can give me my lesson at home tonight--so I'll have time to "run" a 5K and get the fries in the oven and still have a lesson and eat at a normal time. At work, there are doughnuts--but again luckily, they are Krispy Kreme. Meh. Now if they were cake doughnuts or cookies, I might be having more trouble, but I'm doing well. The weekend challenge will be a movie--I'm wanting to see Snow White and the Huntsman--popcorn feels mandatory--but I don't need to have a large and I certainly don't need to eat the big movie feast--of a big grilled sandwich AND jr's AND a oreo shake AND popcorn. The popcorn will be sin enough. I'll make sure I eat something big and filling before I go so I'm not tempted to wolf down half a ton of popcorn.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

424 Hungry

Uh oh---My system is clear and I am HUNGRY.  And that's after I've just eaten a banana, 2 wasa crisps w swiss cheese spread. I'm glad for it today though--I'm ready for another push down. Yesterday was great--I did find time for dinner by skipping the library. Today I'm roped into a Mary Kay party after work, but I brought dinner with me and should be able to eat and get to the library before the party.  I just don't understand how people aren't hungry on restrictive plans?? I use all my extra points every day and I just barely make it--and it's not like I'm just eating rice cakes.  Why am I hungry today? I had 1/2 cup of cottage cheese with blackberries and two slices of toast for breakfast, I just had a snack.  I'm afraid my lunch of soup, a meatloaf sandwich and a pear isn't going to cut it--but it should. Even I can see that it's plenty of food. Dinner will be pizza, a tortilla wrap and jicama. That leaves me 5 points in case there are cookies or something at the party. At least I never have to worry about becoming anorexic. Starvation has zero appeal for me.

Today I'm grateful for:
Good friends--had a wonderful conversation with Zsuzsi last night and I feel better about my family and life in general.
Leftover meatloaf
That every day is a new start.
The internet
other bloggers

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

423 better

Ok--down three pounds today to 186--not so frightful--hopefully that was just a scary flux up yesterday. I did pretty well for it being a holiday--healthy food rather than KFC and a very small piece of apple pie. Today, I'm excited to be on track as well. Breakfast was cream of wheat with blackberries, lunch some homemade clam chowder and a roll, snack will be a banana and dinner will be a big chicken quesedilla and black beans--that leaves 4 pts for dessert. Somehow I've got to find the time to do a 5K--I need to run 6 miles and bike 12 in the next 4 days. That's going to be tough today--I have errands after work and then a RS meeting at 6:30--I can probably run right after the meeting--when dinner's going to happen I'm not sure.

Monday, May 28, 2012

422 ACK

ACK!!!  UP SIX pounds (from all time low).  And today is a holiday. I think I'll rush to the kitchen and eat some celery.  This is NOT ok. I've worked too long and too hard. I'm not going to react by going to extremes---which is what I want to do, but I AM going to keep on and refuse to be discouraged.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

421 full day

It was a nice Sunday--a filling food day so I got my meatloaf. Amazing how unsatisfying it can still be sometimes--lunch was fine, but just missing something--probably fats and sugar which I don't need so it's all good. I saved all 7 points for apple pie and I had a very small piece--that was fine. I also had some cheese curds with it. That wasn't so fine, but overall still a very good day especially since we walked the 5K route in the middle of it.
Tomorrow we decided to grill our own chicken rather than go to KFC--a good decision. Best of all I get to sleep in!

Saturday, May 26, 2012

420 cheese

I did great yesterday for lunch--I had a huge amount of veggies, which works out to probably more nutrition than I've had in the last three weeks.  Dinner wasn't up to plan--instead of our usual we decided to try something new and went to Picolo bros pizza. Oh dear. The salad alone was a problem. But, although I ate too much, I ate less than I ccould have. Also, instead of going out for ice-cream on top of things, I ate a ww ice-cream sandwich for dessert.

Today was challenging as well. A rainy day. We went to Logan to go to the temple. That meant lunch out AND the gossner cheese factory. I LOVE cheese curds. I had a huge hummus wrap for lunch and some black bean soup. Don't know if that was a great point choice, but it was a great nutritious choice at least. The chips and salsa weren't great, but they were good. The cheese factory was too crowded to eat all that I wanted (which again is to the good), but I ate too much anyway.  The good news there is that the swiss and onion spread turns out to be an excellent point choice! Hurray!  And cheese curds are 3 pts per ounce like any other cheese.  I can live with that.

Tomorrow we're having meatloaf for dinner.  I'm going to have a simply filling day so I can eat the baked potato and as much meatloaf as I like. It's a rocky re-start, but it IS a restart. I'm ready to see some new numbers on the scale.

Friday, May 25, 2012

419 pizza

I'm saving a  bunch of points (22 to be exact) so I can have 2 big slices of pizza and a cabbage salad for dinner. It feels good to be back on track even if I'd prefer to have 22 points for lunch AND 5 pieces of pizza. I had 7 pts for breakfast---a lite bagel with laughing cow cheese and some cottage cheese, and lunch will be a baked potato with a TON of veggies and some yogurt. Also a side of tomato and onion salad. I had a banana and some wasa crisp for a snack and I still have some PB2 that I forgot to eat with the banana. So, I'm not going to starve, it just isn't exactly what I want. However, the pizza IS what I want and it isn't very far away. Also, I'm excited to see some new numbers on the scale. This is memorial day weekend--but I'm not feeling like that's a big enough reason to go haywire.

Yesterday's run was SOOO much better. Not going into it all weighed down made a huge difference. I had no trouble with 2 miles going between 5 and 5.5 mph. I really wonder about my "lack" of any sports ability when I was a kid. Sports always embarrassed me--first, I never knew the rules and never had any practice, so of course I was always worst, but I was always so much slower than everybody else too--I wonder if that was partly because I was weighed down with heavy plum cake for breakfast? I bet that's partially it. Too bad, I needed the exercise.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

418 counting

Counting again. Not bad. It's rarely awful--so you would think I could stick to the plan. Not so--but I'm hoping the current attack will go well because (at least today) I feel much less resentful and entitled. I still want to eat more than I should--but I feel more like I'm wearing a cast. It would drive me crazy to wear a cast--especially in the summer being all hot and itchy, but I would wear it so I could heal. Weight loss the same thing. I just need to bear a little discomfort so I can heal. Here's todays "discomfort" I don't think I'll be winning many sympathy points:

Breakfast--oatmeal with a whole apple, splenda and cinnamon. Milk
Lunch--cup of soup, artesian bread with butter, banana, 1 oz cheese curds, little peppers stuffed w fat-free cheese, a bite of a moose bar.
Snack--tortilla roll up---this is a new one for me--I spread ff cream cheese on a tortilla, then topped it with olives, a little sweet pepper and chopped fresh spinach--rolled it up and cut it up for a snack. This one is a keeper--felt satisfying psychologically as well as physically.
Dinner--chicken with nectarine chutney, potatoes, veggies.
Dessert--a WW chocolate peanutbutter ice-cream sandwich.
maybe---popcorn if I have the points for it.

I hope tonight's run (2 miles on treadmill) will go easier. Last night, since it was the last swimming day, and I had run, I "celebrated" by also doing a little biking. I wanted to have at least one day where I did all three things in the same day. The other challenge is that I've lost my I-pod. Crud! That makes a big difference! I nearly died of boredom last night. Hell definitley contains treadmills that face a blank wall like Weber States do. Ugh!

Today I'm thankful for:
Great mystery writers
strongly flavored foods--olives, blue cheese etc.
my garden!
That I can run--bored or not.
That our lives are not dependent on whether or not Mom's house sells. The thought that the buyer might drop out because my family is dragging their feet, has me scared to death because it would such a relief if it would sell--but we'll be fine even if it doesn't. I'm just not a patient person, so this is good practice---aaarghghghg.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

417 the indulgence point

Back from the big work conference. Thank goodness---fun conference, but too much food. I had a huge breakfast today which disappointed me--but at least I was still full at lunch and had a minimal lunch (although with the dessert). Tracking points tonight though and the rest of the week.

I was thinking about the point where I feel as though I've been indulgent and the point where others (the skinny ones) feel indulgent. I've talked about this before--I suspect much of this blog will be repetitious--sorry--I wish I could thrash out these thoughts once and for all and then live forever newly changed in the knowledge. I seem to have to rethink things many times before they stick. ANYWAY. There were delicious scones for breakfast yesterday. I went back for a second one. Maria, who is very slender, said she wanted one too, but wouldn't. I need to hear that over and over. Maria--ALSO wanted a second--she isn't skinny because she isn't tempted. She's skinny because she simply eats right and exercises. NOBODY needed a second scone. I knew that. The first ones were plenty large. After the second scone--I still could have eaten a third or a fourth, but I didn't. And it wasn't just social pressure--as I proved by being the only one today to eat two big platefuls of breakfast, I am perfectly capable of making a pig of myself in public--it was more that after two scones I felt as though I had been indulgent. And maybe that's the feeling I am often looking for---I want to relax and indulge and the point where I think I've done that is higher than it is for skinny people. Breakfast today was the same thing. Large breakfasts at any time are a treat--and when the breakfast includes biscuits and gravy and orange juice then it's a big treat. I am passionate about bacon. I had about 8 or 9 slices, which is waaaay too much bacon, but here's the thing. Again, I could have easily eaten as much again--plus some more potatoes would have been nice. But I didn't. My "indulgence" trigger had been satisfied. I had eaten plenty of bacon and I knew it and it simply wouldn't occur to me to go back for more. How can I set that "indulgence" level lower? Eating bacon is always an indulgence--the human body doesn't need bacon. Usually in the morning I'll have two slices if I have any. Can I set my mind to the level where 3 or 4 pieces feels like I've eaten a lot of bacon? I'll just have to keep practicing. I had an uber-skinny co-worker once who "indulged" in an Andes mint. One. ONE. Most of the time I don't think of a single Andes mint as anything at all, let alone an indulgence. Usually I feel super virtuous because I had an Andes mint as opposed to a full snickers bar or something. It's a big step in the right direction, true. But chocolate is chocolate and a little bit is still indulgent.

Monday, May 21, 2012

415 parties and root canal

Oh ick, ugh. I need to either have an old root canal redone--which will be expensive and might not work. OR have the tooth pulled and an implant which would probably work but be even MORE expensive. One of today's tasks is to find a good dentist who takes my insurance.

Oh well, on to happier things! Catherine gets to work at Hollywood MGM as a Backlot studio guide!! How fun is that?? She'll even get to drive the tram through "catastrophe canyon" and everything. She's living in the nicest (most expensive--figures) dorms, and her roommates sound good so far. Her immediate roommate is from Miami and another roomie is a girl she met in line who had a bear which is a good sign. So far, she didn't get lunch, but she might go and have dinner in downtown Disney.  How fun is that??

Food-wise for me. 188 this morning, the worst I've seen in a long time. But that's ok. I'm back on track, with hopefully less resentment and more staying power than ever. I really think I'm beginning to believe that I just don't need all that much food. Nobody does. And I certainly don't need garbage food.  Of course I still want more than I need, but that's a different matter. If I just learn that I'm not divinely entitled to eat everything and that I'm not being terribly deprived, then it's not so hard. Slowly, food is moving toward the same category as other things in my life that I need to moderate--I can't buy everything I want, and I don't resent it. I hope that this time I can feel that I can't eat everything I want and that's ok too.

Today's lunch was extra challenging tho. It was the retirement lunch for Anna Marie, and they ordered the fajita lunch from the WSU caterers. The big problem with this lunch is that it's not filling!! Not even close. The last time I ate a moderate amount of this meal I was ready to chew the legs off my desk. So this time I ate a slightly larger, but still moderate amount (too much sour cream though). I'm hungry, but holding.  I also brought along a fiber one bar and I still have some WW chili if I'm really starved.

TWO great food discoveries---sugar free slurpees at 7-11!! YAY! I'm not a big Slurpee fan, but that's largely because they were always too high calorie for me. The other discovery is uber-exiting. The last time I went to Macaroni Grill with Catherine, we got the best appetizer--little sweet peppers stuffed with feta and drizzled with balsamic vinegar. They are to DIE for, and I found those same little peppers at the Smith's mediterrainian bar. I stuffed a few last night--the result wasn't quite the same, but pretty darn close. I could eat those by the pound--veggies are freebies--although I will count some points because they're packed in oil--cheese is 3 pts for 1/4 cup. I'm going to get 1/4 cup of feta and see how many that will stuff and call it a 4 point snack. Yum! Yum! FABULOUS YUM!

Exercise will be good today--1 mile run, 10 laps swim and I hope, a whole lot of gardening.

Today I'm thankful for:
Walt Disney
My adventurous daughter
My good "baseball" rolls
my sweetheart husband
good dentists

Sunday, May 20, 2012

414 Disney World

Catherine is off to work at Disneyworld. She made the connecting flight to Houston (a bit scary---only 1/2 between flights and the terminal was on the other side of the airport) and she's now in the sky on her way to Orlando. I miss her like mad already.  We're planning now when we might get to go and see her---our schedules don't match, but we'll work it out. I'm just thinking of how grateful I am that I CAN go to Disneyworld and have fun. Unlike my poor sister, I can run around the parks all day and fit on every ride and get up and do it all over the next day.  I can have FUN. More fun than any piece of pizza could ever give me. Today I'm not worrying about counting, but I made a WW fettucini for dinner just the same--very good, with the first watermelon of the year--yay for zero point fruit. The next three days will be a challenge, but that's ok. I will do my best with the food, keep my exercise on track and see how far I can go.  One motivator--whenever we go to Orlando, even if it's in October, it will be hot. One of the downsides of being fat for me, is that I don't deal with heat very well.  The less I weigh, the more comfortable I'll be I bet.  Plus, I want to surprise Catherine.

Today I'm thankful for:
ww receipes
cocoa coconut brownies which I never have to give up.
dynamite dorito sticks
my garden
air travel
enough money--never as much as we want, but enough.
Good books
the cool solar eclipse.

Saturday, May 19, 2012


I am falling apart bit by bit. My tooth really is having a major flare up--on the weekend of course. It's the result of an iffy root canal I had more than 10 years ago and I think the time has come when I'm simply going to have to have it redone. Thanks to ibuprofin and numbing gel I'll make it till monday.

Meanwhile, of all things the tooth is not sensitive to heat or cold, so I'm fine to eat anything and everything. We went to Zuppas for lunch and had rouladen for dinner and Dave is now fixing homemade ice-cream. Still, not crazy portions or anything--just that lovely sense of freedom of being able to eat whatever I want. The good news is--that I pretty much CAN eat whatever I want and maintain this weight. I bet when I lose another 20 pounds it'll be the same--I think overall I'll be moving more and eating less, but not so much more that I'll really even notice it all that much. Now LOSING it is another matter. THAT I DO notice--darn it. But I hope that I'll have a better attitude now that I believe that the end result won't be a lifetime of deprivation to maintain.

Today I'm thankful for:
My daughter!!!
homemade ice-cream
May weather
the exercise bike downstairs.
fruit--esp pears, plums and watermelons
my garden
that I am healthy--poor Christine officially has lymphedema.

Friday, May 18, 2012

412 more normal

Ok--the insanely hungry phase has passed. I still want to eat more than I should because I always want to eat more than I should, but I'm not crazy hungry. Today I'm taking a real rest day--I didn't even walk to work (which turns out to be a good thing because it's raining). Everything feels slow and tired. Most alarming though is my old root canal that flares up from time to time. It's flaring now--on a Friday of course--if I could just be guaranteed that it would would stay at this level then I wouldn't worry, but with Catherine leaving on Sunday and our conference on Tues and Wed, I really don't want to have some huge dental issue until Thursday. Naturally, the dentist is out today. Maybe---I hope, I hope, I hope, I'm just more tired than I'm giving myself credit for. My upper right arm was really hurting again last night and now my tooth? Maybe once I'm a bit rested everything will feel better.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

411 Inhale

Wow---I'm in complete food/vacuum cleaner inhale mode. I am STARVING--and it's not for lack of nutrients. For breakfast I had a bowl of oatmeal with apples and cinnamon, 2 strips of bacon, milk and diet juice--you don't get a much more filling breakfast than that. For a "snack" I've already had a baggie of popcorn, a banana, a plate of veggies with a little dip, some slices of cheese, some salami and some crackers.  Thank goodness lunch is coming, I'm STARVED.

At least not all of this is pure addiction (I hope), part of this must be because I'm tired. Yesterday I went to run my mile and it was so much harder to run the one mile yesterday than it was to run the 2 miles the day before. In fact, I didn't even make it running--I had to slow down and alternate between 4 adn 4.5 mph. I don't worry about speed in swimming, but I'm sure my laps were slow too. Then I walked home--it was a beautiful evening--since we live on a busy street friends do drive by from time to time and offer me rides. I almost always decline, but I would have jumped on the offer yesterday. I figure if I were going to compete in a real iron-man I'd be tired too, so it's all good. Since Catherine's leaving this Sunday (WAAAAAAHHHH!) I might take a rest day tomorrow, but today I'm determined to plow through 2 more miles.

The plan is to get back on track completely on Monday. Challenges are immediate. Monday is my co-worker's retirement party--FOOD!  Tuesday and Wednesday is the UAOA conference--FOOD plus a great bakery. Sheesh. The plan is to be perfectly on track for breakfast and dinner and try and be reasonable for lunch. Hopefully, this hungry phase will pass otherwise I might be in big touble.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

410 the pace

I had a day off yesterday--wonderful! And got a lot of Catherine's shopping done. We also went to a Mary Kay "Spa" party. Just not my thing, and it sure showed how easy it is to send mixed messages.  The party included a pot-luck dinner brought in by the MK people. It was basically garbage--iceberg lettuce with ranch, carb loaded tortilla wraps and lasagne and lots and lots of desserts.  After eating this we went to learn about skin care. Brother!! As I told Catherine later, the best thing you can do for your skin is to drink a lot of water and eat lots of fruits and veggies! Do that and protect your face from the sun, and you won't need a bunch of expensive products. So silly.

I've been thinking, as I've been mostly off-track lately, how grateful I am to have finally figured out that the SPEED of this endeavor is up to ME. NOT weight watchers, not Jillian Michaels, not the ladies I work with, not other bloggers but ME. I was 186 this morning and the only reason that that isn't completely discouraging is because when Catherine goes I'm going to make a push to see 170, and when I hit 170 I know I'll be happy and excited and successful!! Sure, it would have been nice to have hit that goal a year earlier, but this is a long term project and in the big picture when I reach my goal isn't nearly as important as that I DO reach my goal.

The iron-man is going well! I ran another 2 miles yesterday. I wonder how far I can go? Doing it the first time was a big deal--now 2 miles is the norm. Could 5 miles someday become the norm? 10? I'm sure it's only my mind holding me back---that, and crushing boredom. How do athletes do it? I only have 3 more pool sessions thank goodness. Talk about boring. The running would be better, but I'm doing as much as possible on the treadmill---it seems to be working, my left leg isn't giving me nearly as much trouble. Maybe doing these miles is strengthening whatever needed to be strengthened.  I'll keep at it.

Monday, May 14, 2012

408 work retreat

Ugh! Blech! I am FULL.  Will I never get it through my head that there is no end to the "exceptions" when it comes to food.  We had a wonderful retreat at work--it's a perfect May day and we went to a park. There were a few work related activities and then we played mini golf! AND laser tag (that worked up a sweat) AND we each got $3 to blow in the arcade! SO much fun.  I've never played laser tag but I'll be sure to do it again. Afterward we ate our potluck picnic. Lots of favorites--salad and cheese and cheeseballs and pork and beans and mini-meatballs and potato chips and dessert. The apple-cobbler cheesecake squares were particuarly good. I despair that I'll ever learn. Even now, I'm not really repentant. I don't expect the Lazy Man to compensate for all my food sins, but I'm glad it's there. I'll be running 1 mile and swimming 10 laps. Not a big workout, but as much cholorine as I can handle.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

407 Cheesecake

Oh boy, it doesn't get much worse than this. Yesterday was brunch at Jeremiah's--absolutely the BEST breakfast place in the United States. Great prices and great food but also a great many calories which is why this is only the second time we've gone. I had my share of a gigantic cinnamon roll---these things are as big as the plate and about 6 inches thick. Then I had a giant "cobb omlete" with lots of blue cheese and avacadoes, hashbrowns and bacon and some blueberry pancake too. The sad news is that I didn't roll out of the restaraunt.  After ingesting at least 3,000 cal. I was comfortable. Later, for complicated reasons we ended up eating at the cheesecake factory---a huge plate of nachos--there may have been worse choices on the menu, but they would have been hard to find. We also picked up cheesecake to enjoy today for Mother's day.  I DID ride the exercise bike yesterday and today, but there's no way it was enough. The steak and shrimp for dinner was a good choice, and although the rest of this week isn't on track--it shouldn't be crazy over the top either. Beginning a week from Monday I'm recommitting until I drop to 170.

Friday, May 11, 2012

405 Revolutionary Grilling Tray

I get a bang out of advertisers sometimes. I had a lean cuisine sandwich for lunch which I microwaved on a REVOLUTIONARY GRILLING TRAY!!  No doubt it's patented and one of a kind and I should be in awe. I was more in awe of the sandwich--a chicken spinach artichoke panini--really good. Not enough, it never is, but what there was was good.  It was worth 8 ww points which reminds me how tough it is to stick to ww portions. I also had a cup of soup 1, a mini yogurt 2, a mini popcorn 3 and a reeses cup for dessert--another 3 for a total of a 17 pt lunch--too much. I'd rather save those kinds of points for dinner. Still, it's not all that hard to make better choices and I'll be glad to move down the scale again. This upcoming week I told Catherine that I would fix all her favorites--come to think of it, they're actually not all that horrible except for the rouladen. Steak, turkey burgers, tacos, athenian chicken--all of that is within reason--or it would be if I could eat a reasonable portion of them.  Exercise is coming along too--thank goodness for the iron man--I'm sure that's what's keeping me from blowing up like a balloon. Yesterday I went up to the track and it's not open to the public! What?? In gorgeous weather like this?? I wound up on the treadmill again but I did 2 miles straight again at a 12 min or 5 mph pace. Wouldn't that be wonderful if I could keep it up? A half marathon in sub 3 hours!! Maybe someday.  Tonight Catherine will join me for a swim--I'm going to run just 1 mile first and then try 10 laps and see how my eyes do.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

404 Enough chicken

UGGGH! I HATE getting old. I swam 20 laps with Catherine last night--my body was just fine except for my eyes. I was on the swim team in high school, and while I swam (and still do swim) like a concrete block, I never had any trouble with my eyes. After 20 laps last night my vision was burning and blurry and it wasn't until after a good night's sleep last night that I don't feel as though I'm looking through foggy glasses.  I'm going to have to do this 10 laps at a time which is a real pain. Catherine bought me some cheapo goggles which didn't do anything--she offered to get better ones, but I figure after this iron man I'll be done with swimming other than water resorts.
Food-wise, I was encouraged at dinner yesterday. It was a delicious dinner--chicken in blackberry BBQ sauce, baked potato, baked beans, corn, homemade bread and cabbage salad. A BIG dinner. It looked big and as I was eating I realized that even though I could have finished it all, that I really didn't want to. I ate about 1/2 and brought the rest to work with me today. I love it when I have those times when normal eating is just that--NORMAL--not forced. It gives me hope.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

403 Track and brownies

Whoops! I must have missed yesterday. Sorry about that. Catherine did come up, and since the treadmills were full I thought I'd try the track--reasoning that it was a nice squishy surface as opposed to concrete. It worked! At least my knees felt as good as they do on the treadmill. I ran TWO miles without stopping!! I am darn proud of that. My pace is still super slow--it was about a 13 minute mile, but that pace is fast enough for the Disneyland half-marathon someday--just 11 miles more!

Yesterday was poor exercise wise--come to think of it, it was poor overall. I had to drive because I had my annual checkup--so health kudos for that at least. Then I couldn't work on the lazy man because I had a bunch of plants that needed to go in the garden. I rushed home, did gardening for half and hour then went to the RS activity. Oh my! They did a beautiful job! Especially with the food--little chicken salad crossaints, cucumber sandwiches, tortilla wraps with swiss cheese, little really rich brownies and cream puffs (one virtue--I'm actually not to fond of cream puffs).  I ate plenty, then went home and gardened until well past dark, I hope that burned off a few calories at least.

The current plan is to just hold the line until Catherine leaves and then make another big push. I'd like to let go of another 10 or 15 pounds and then hold the line there for awhile before the final (that's an exciting word!) push to the goal.

Tonight Catherine's coming up and the plan is to swim 20 laps for iron man and dinner should be reasonable. I'm having a little trouble lately because we haven't been fixing food that produces lunch leftovers so I'm in a rut. Also, I'm doing a super boring project today so all I want to do is eat.  Gum is a good thing.

Monday, May 7, 2012

401 munch munch

A munchy day--and I've been thwarted because I've been on the front desk. I will survive--and I will not eat any more chocolate! I've already had two pieces--sheesh. AND some chewy lemon heads.  Otherwise the day promises to be a good one. 2 slices of homemade potato oatmeal bread for b-fast with a PB2 banana, a deli meat wrap with olives and pop-chips and a cup of soup and an apple for lunch with a 3 pt cherry choc chip granola bar for a snack. Catherine's coming up at 5 to run a mile or two on the treadmill with me. That will he--I just hope her student ID is still good.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

400 baked chicken and apple crisp

I'm rebelling against stretching becoming part of my life--I don't think I'll be growing old any too gracefully. I "biked" 10 miles last night and now my left leg is completely strung up. No matter--I'm going to stretch it (against my will) and bike 10 more tonight. Take that stupid leg! (To which my leg will no doubt reply--"ok, twaaaaang --snap).

Meanwhile, it's fast Sunday. Beautiful meetings. I love the church and I love my family. Tonight we're having a real feast, roast chicken with stuffing, mashed potatos, corn on the cob, baked beans and apple-crisp for dessert. No guilt, and tomorrow is another day to keep moving downward.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

399 Camping

Ugh! Gym closed yesterday. It was a smashing gorgeous day--but I really want to do these lazy man miles on the treadmill--I'm hoping it will build up strength so that I CAN run more easily on the sidewalks again. I wasn't able to make up the miles yesterday--we had planned to camp in the backyard. Tons of fun! We roasted hotdogs and made smore's over the firepit and then slept in the tent. I am NOT a natural camper. It was reasonably comfortable, but none of us slept well--so today we're all beat. No matter! Catherine wanted to go to SLC to shop and that's what we did. It was fun--albeit calorie-expensive. Gardiner's village with lunch at Archibalds--I had the potroast sandwich with fries and a cup of potato cheese soup. For dinner, Dad took us all out to Chuck-a-Rama. We try hard to avoid buffets, but I wasn't very hungry so I did ok. A big salad (although with real blue cheese dressing), and some roast beef and two small desserts.  I'm fine.  I'm going to bike 10 miles tonight, practice the harp and collapse.

Friday, May 4, 2012

398 Nutella cake

185.  Phew again. Thank goodness for the Lazy Man. I walked to work yesterday and I also ran a mile on the treadmill at 5 mph and then "biked" 5 miles on the exercise bike downstairs. I don't mean to be coasting until Catherine leaves, but it's hard not too. Tonight we're camping out in the backyard with hotdogs and smores and tomorrow we're going to SLC to play and then meet Dad at Chuck-a-Rama for dinner.  I'll do my best, but if I survive May by just holding it together I'll be very pleased.

Last night I had a happy reaction I think. Dave found a receipe for Nutella Mug Cake. Nutella is the food of the Gods in my opinion--but boy, is it a calorie disaster. This mug cake called for 4 tablespoons--or 400 calories of Nutella. Add to that the white flour, sugar and oil and YIKES!! I did point out to Catherine that this particular dessert was a horrible choice and she retorted that not everyone was on a diet. True. I do try hard not to shove this kind of stuff down her throat--but I did say, and better yet did honestly feel and believe that this dessert had nothing to do with a diet. NOBODY should eat this. Dave and C did make it, and I did have a taste, but no way was it good enough for the price in calories. Tonight calls for two miles on the treadmill--ipod is charged now so hopefully it will feel like a quick two miles. Or at least a quicker two miles.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

397 doing ok

Still within the bounds of normal, although I confess I dread facing the scale tomorrow. Yesterday was one of the few days where I didn't blog because I was working on other things--I can almost always make time for this blog. My sister's portion of Mom's money has been left under the care of my other sister. I'm trying to help them both out by hammering out how I at least, think the trust should be administered. It's quite a document--I hope it helps them.  It helps ME anyway, because my thoughts are now on paper instead of rattling around in my head.  We got the appraisal back from Mom's house today--disappointing that it's not more--I'm definitely suffering from a sudden attack of greed.

Anyway--food-wise. May I just say, that I hate portion control.  Sheesh.  I opened a frozen Smart Ones breakfast of pancakes and sausage. It was cute. Exactly what I would have fed any toddler. Exercise-wsie things are going well--beautiful weather, so I've been walking to work. My start for the Iron Man has been slow, but I did 5 miles on the bike last night, and will run a mile on the treadmill before my harp lesson today.  Both extra good, because I wouldn't be doing either one without the iron-man.  Catherine continues to plow on with Jillian's 30 day shred. Tough little workout that!

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

395 Anniversary!

Feeling better about myself and life in general today. Yes, I can do this and yes, everything will be fine.  I'm glad I feel more cheerful today because yesterday marked the worst day of eating in the past year. Not calorie-wise, but nutrition-wise. Yuck. Breakfast was two slices of delicious homemade sourdough with a reasonable amount of cheese broiled on top. I had a banana for a snack--so far, so good.  Lunch was horrible in every way. Down with Teriayki Stix--Blech. I didn't look closely enough at the menu to realize that the bowls didn't automatically come with veggie. I had low-grade orange chicken--probably deep fried and treated to death on a bed of white rice and that's all. It was the most unappealing meal I've ever seen. For once I really was more interested in my friend more than the food. I picked at it and had an apple when I got back to the office. Family crisis erupted at 4:30--appetite canceled for the rest of the day. Thank goodness our health isn't based on just one poor day.  Probably the easiest thing would be to just make contact with my family every day and solve my weight loss problem once and for all.
Today it feels good to get back to something normalish. Cream of wheat with Mom's raspberries for breakfast, wasa bread and laughing cow cheese for snack, HG deep dish spinach pizzas for lunch with a cabbage salad. We're going to soak in the mineral pools at crystal hotsprings and go out to eat for our anniversary today--23 years!!.  So, not a great day with food, but at least I walked to work and tomorrow should be a better day.