Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Monday, May 21, 2012

415 parties and root canal

Oh ick, ugh. I need to either have an old root canal redone--which will be expensive and might not work. OR have the tooth pulled and an implant which would probably work but be even MORE expensive. One of today's tasks is to find a good dentist who takes my insurance.

Oh well, on to happier things! Catherine gets to work at Hollywood MGM as a Backlot studio guide!! How fun is that?? She'll even get to drive the tram through "catastrophe canyon" and everything. She's living in the nicest (most expensive--figures) dorms, and her roommates sound good so far. Her immediate roommate is from Miami and another roomie is a girl she met in line who had a bear which is a good sign. So far, she didn't get lunch, but she might go and have dinner in downtown Disney.  How fun is that??

Food-wise for me. 188 this morning, the worst I've seen in a long time. But that's ok. I'm back on track, with hopefully less resentment and more staying power than ever. I really think I'm beginning to believe that I just don't need all that much food. Nobody does. And I certainly don't need garbage food.  Of course I still want more than I need, but that's a different matter. If I just learn that I'm not divinely entitled to eat everything and that I'm not being terribly deprived, then it's not so hard. Slowly, food is moving toward the same category as other things in my life that I need to moderate--I can't buy everything I want, and I don't resent it. I hope that this time I can feel that I can't eat everything I want and that's ok too.

Today's lunch was extra challenging tho. It was the retirement lunch for Anna Marie, and they ordered the fajita lunch from the WSU caterers. The big problem with this lunch is that it's not filling!! Not even close. The last time I ate a moderate amount of this meal I was ready to chew the legs off my desk. So this time I ate a slightly larger, but still moderate amount (too much sour cream though). I'm hungry, but holding.  I also brought along a fiber one bar and I still have some WW chili if I'm really starved.

TWO great food discoveries---sugar free slurpees at 7-11!! YAY! I'm not a big Slurpee fan, but that's largely because they were always too high calorie for me. The other discovery is uber-exiting. The last time I went to Macaroni Grill with Catherine, we got the best appetizer--little sweet peppers stuffed with feta and drizzled with balsamic vinegar. They are to DIE for, and I found those same little peppers at the Smith's mediterrainian bar. I stuffed a few last night--the result wasn't quite the same, but pretty darn close. I could eat those by the pound--veggies are freebies--although I will count some points because they're packed in oil--cheese is 3 pts for 1/4 cup. I'm going to get 1/4 cup of feta and see how many that will stuff and call it a 4 point snack. Yum! Yum! FABULOUS YUM!

Exercise will be good today--1 mile run, 10 laps swim and I hope, a whole lot of gardening.

Today I'm thankful for:
Walt Disney
My adventurous daughter
My good "baseball" rolls
my sweetheart husband
good dentists
anti-biotics


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