5 things to be grateful for: That I don't have to eat tripe (even the cats didn't eat it) That we're almost done paying the Sallie Mae loan!!! That I found my favorite picture of my Dad A warm house. The chance to teach gospel doctrine.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Friday, January 18, 2013
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Monday, January 14, 2013
Friday, January 11, 2013
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Monday, January 7, 2013
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Anyway---I was thinking about responsibility and how and why I avoid it with food. Somewhere deep inside I really think I believe that eating is bad. Somehow ALL eating is verboten, even though I know that's silly. Lately, I've had some healthy snacks here at work but I'm having the hardest time giving myself permission to eat them. Somehow the thought that I can and really should do without them is very loud. HOWEVER, I HAVE been way overindulging on the junk food! Why doesn't that come with any alarms? The odd analogy that comes to mind is teenages and condoms. I'm told (and I think this is very valid) that often teenagers don't use condoms, because to do so means they have to pause and actually admit to themselves what they are doing as opposed to "just letting it happen." That's exactly what I think is happening with me and food. If I go to the fridge and eat my soup which I know is about 100 cal and filling and healthy--I have to admit to myself what I'm doing. I am officially "eating." If I go to the fridge and load up a plate with goodies--that is NOT officially eating because it isn't a deliberate meal and it isn't even a deliberate snack--because I honestly don't snack that irresponsibly. That plate of goodies is a sort of limbo food. Not emotionally tallied.
Perhaps one reason that the intuitive eating program is calling me so strongly is that I sense that I need to lift that taboo about food. Even I need to eat! It is a NEED a NEED a NEED--like breathing air. It is NOT a bad behavior, it is a necessary one!