Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.

The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Trying trying trying

Scary!  Fourth of July, two birthday parties, late night pizza, work BBq, out to dinner. All conspire to throw me off the track. Not only have I not lost my 2 pounds so far, but I've gone the other direction. This is what I was afraid of---just spinning around re-losing the same two or three pounds forever.  BUT!  I haven't quit, and the month isn't over.  So, I'll see how this turns out.  In spite of my many failings, there are even more successes, and I think some of the psycological barriers are getting thinner.

My latest goofy exercise scheme is a fun one. Go from New York to Los Angeles, either by bike or on foot. These things really work for me. When I was only three miles from Newark, NJ--I went downstairs and rode those three miles. I'm still just in the beginning phase. I'm on my way to Pottersdown, NJ, 39 miles from Newark.  Today, to my great annoyance I woke up at 6:30 even though I didn't have to be at work till 9.  So I walked the 5K. Smart, because it's been blazing hot.

Friday, July 5, 2013

Full of sugar

July 5

Ugh!  I thoroughly enjoyed the fourth and my day off from counting. But the last thing did me in. I had a normal breakfast--good sign! It felt natural to pass on having bacon since I'd be having fried chicken for lunch--it didn't feel like a "diety" decision, just felt normal. Hooray! Maybe I'm developing a few normal food instincts after all.  Had my extra crispy KFC for lunch, had my decadent almond joy brownie bites (321 cal for a smallish square--ouch!), dinner was equally bad--popcorn, salami, cheese, olives and cherry pie and ice-cream.  So far, so good--at least good as in, I'd eaten everything I wanted.  THEN we went to an acquaintances house to see the fireworks. Uh boy. HUGE rootbeer floats and cookies. I didn't feel as though I could refuse.  THAT put me over the edge.  I am sugared out.  I didn't want breakfast, and I'm kind of thinking I might not want lunch either. It's nice to know that my body doesn't want ALL food. It only wants what it wants and no more. There's hope!

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

On the radar

Hey!  I find that I don't want my treat to be off the radar after all.  I got some salami and some German grilling cheese that I'm excited to try. I have plenty of calories saved up tonight to enjoy it. It's still hard tho. I don't know how Sean did it. 1,500 - 2,200 (trying to keep it around 2000 preferably) is still a strain, and I can see that I will need--not want, but need to have fairly frequent days where I actually eat until I am satisfied--not just barely full, to stay the course. But I think that's going to be ok. Tomorrow is the 4th--all bets off. I'm making some almond joy brownie bites that I'm excited about as well as a cherry pie. At the moment tho--just being really full is what is sounding the best. I'm eating plenty I feel as though I ought to be full and it's weird that I'm not.  For breakfast I had an omelete, 2 slices of toast, a banana and milk. for lunch I had a pizza pocket, a large serving of cucumber slop, 100 popcorn and a fiber one bar. I could easily eat a large steak dinner just now.

Monday, July 1, 2013

Met goal!

Met my June goal!!!!  The frequent weighing at the end was smart.  I did not do well at ALL at the campout. The culprit was bacon. They fixed a TON of it for breakfast and I ate at least a pound, maybe more. For dinner, Saturday we had pizza, so the day was pretty much a wash out. Even still, Sunday morning I was exactly at the 198 goal.  Since I know I was weighing at 196 for several days at least, I'm going with a 195 pound goal for July.

I've changed my mind about my reward though. I made a weight watcher's pie yesterday which is quite good, Dave made cookies and cream ice-cream which is GREAT. And for the fourth on Thursday, I'm making a cherry pie for tradition's sake and some almond joy brownie bites because they sound fabulous. I don't think I want Mama Crimin's cookis as well.  Instead, I'm going to Smiths tonight to reward myself with salami and a fancy cheese. I'll enjoy it tomorrow as an off the radar snack, and then continue to enjoy it, but count it for the rest of the month.

I got right back on track yesterday, didn't find it too hard to stop at one serving of potroast and mashed potatoes, had my pie, had room for ice-cream, but didn't finish the ice-cream. I was suddenly done and I just let myself be done.

Today I had a Mormon Muffin (no idea--I called it 200cal) and an omelete for breakfast, I'll have a big sandwich for lunch with a cucumber yogurt salad and some snyders pretzels, for dinner we're trying a Hungry Girl recipe for mac and cheese.  The big problem at the moment is exercise--we're having a heat wave, and the WSU gym is under construction. I can, and plan to exercise at home, but the heat is making me feel lethargic.