Losing weight in spite of myself.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
The other thing I'm working on is finishing the Iron-Man. EEEP!! 3 miles a day run and still 33 miles bike by Friday. My legs are still a bit wonky, so I compromised yesterday by a brisk walk to the library. Thanks to my new phone I know that walk was 4.79 miles. A bit more than I bargained for--and in the dark to boot. Walking in the dark is foolish--so I'm making yet another compromise and counting my walk to and from work--which I really don't like doing, because the whole point of the lazy man is to do more than I normally would. Oh well. I'm considering this as an exercise in letting go of perfectionism. And I HAVE done a more exercising than I would have otherwise, so its all good. :)
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Today I learned that I don't like to eat more than I like to eat. I ate to fullness--as I usually do, and then I ate more because it was Thanksgiving and there were 12 pies! When we came home I had some turkey sandwiches, again because it was Thanksgiving and I had just a slight amount of room to stuff something more in. It actually wasn't fun to eat them. I think this might be an important discovery.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
This morning I was all excited about cooking things for thanksgiving, and even though my stomach was rumbling, I didn't feel like eating, so I didn't really--I nibbled oyster crackers, and sampled the cheese ball. Eventually, I did eat a banana because I figured I ought to have something healthy before trying to run 3 miles. It was a good thought, but not enough. That was the worst three miles! It was a beautiful day, so I drove up to Beuss pond with the idea of running around the pond. I stretched adn everything. First glitch was that runkeeper somehow turned off after 22 seconds and it took me awhile to figure it out. Then Catherine called so I walked a bit while talking to her. I figure that covered at least one mile--so the idea was then to run 2 more and call it good. Phew! NO gaa in my tank. It was super hard. I eventually just started, running one song and walking the next. My average was something like 18 minutes per mile! I'm guessing that the lack of food and water must have had an impact here. Tomorrow, if the weather's nice, I want to try again--only this time after a bowl of oatmeal or something. If I can detect a connection, it will be really good for me. It's so difficult for me to sense that food whether good or bad is affecting me in any immediate way at all. After all, I feel fine and have perfectly good energy for cooking. Just not for running apparently.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Tonight I make bread and pie crust and tomorrow I cook for Thanksgiving. I love this day of thankfulness. And this year I really am thankful for blessings other than the huge pig out. The food is nice, but the death grip is slowly slowly slowly loosening.
Monday, November 19, 2012
Saturday, November 17, 2012
I go off and binge when occasions present themselves instead. :) Which is frequent. Last night we saw the last of the Twilight Movies. I'm not a huge fan, but I think the series is fun. On these occasions we have serious movie food. But last night might mark a real reduction in future movie food. That was one of the worst sandwiches I've ever had. Unfortunatley the fried potato things they do were still terrific, as was the shake and the popcorn. For not being very hungry at the time, I still put away plenty.
This morning though I wasn't hungry at all so I didn't eat even though I did have some big exercise planned for the lazy man. It was a beautiful fall day, so a ran a 5K first thing. I'm so slow, but you know what? It was still a little under Disney marathon required time (16 min mile--I'm not kidding when I say I'm slow). This 5 K route is a really good one for practice because it has quite a bit of uphill both steep and gentle. I downloaded "Run Keeper" on my phone and love it. Not only does it track while I'm running, but sends me emails about my workout and any personal records I may have broken, and I broke a bunch today! Great fun. Tonight I downloaded more songs to keep me company. After the 5K, I had a snack, and then about an hour later went to the gym and swam 21 laps for the iron man. For me, this is huge exercise. I like that mentally I didn't tie it to some kind of weird repentance for my movie night. I'm simply trying to reach an exercise goal.
I'm glad for the swimming part of the iron-man this time. I detested swimming in high school, because I was so poor at it, and always under pressure to go faster than I really could go. I didn't like swimming for the last iron-man because it was so hard on my eyes. This time has been better. My co-worker said she's rediscovered swimming and found it soothing. Mostly, I find it boring, but with my new good googles, I'm actually enjoying it a little. It IS soothing. Nobody's working me out. There's no peer pressure or inferiority--I just go at the pace that's comfortable for me. I can tell my body really likes the movements and lack of impact. I don't know if I'd ever become a regular swimmer, but I think it's moved into the "possible" category. I might throw it in now and again for variety in the future, and if I'm having knee troubles, it will occur to me now to at least consider swimming.
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
I'm thinking on paper here---I like definite goals and charts and planning things out--I get excited about programs like the Lazy Man, but I get frustrated when programs cause me any real inconvenience or change I'm not ready for. I also get bored with things easily. I also like a sense of randomness. I wonder if I could think up a number of healthy behaviors--each designed to cover just one week--like veggie week--every day the focus would be to eat at least 5 veggies. I could even scary ones like "low fat week" "two exercise a day week." I wonder if there could be much variety there--off-hand the things I'm thinking of most are deprivation kind of things like--low cheese week, or no sugar week, or ....well!! Let me just start listing and see what I come up with!
1: Jillian week--one Jillian workout per day (6 days)
2: Low carb week
3: Double exercise week
4: Yoga week
5: spa and facial week
6: Veggie week---at least 5 servings per day.
7: Nothing processed week
8: Fancy cheese week
9: Fancy dessert week---the idea to make something I wouldn't normally--thus lessening the "specialness" of it.
10: High Protien week.
11: No distracted eating week--a tough one! No reading!
12: Smoothie week--I don't normally eat smoothies, maybe a good habit to start.
13: Nibble week--little meals all day long
14: Swim week
15: Stretch week
16: One dessert a day week (I usually have much more)
17: Healthy choice at a restaurant week
18: weight watchers week--it's good portion control practice
19: Snack week--make at least four new good snacks
20: Morning work out week
21: 1800 cal week
22: Diabetic week
23: Vegetarian week.
Monday, November 12, 2012
Well, isn't that what I want? Somehow I've simply got to practice smaller servings or I'll never accept that a smaller serving is ok. And I'm not saying just eat 1/2! Far from it! Eat 1/2 and then continue eating whatever I need so I'm not hungry anymore is what I'm saying. I want to catch those times when I'm genuinely done with food, but maybe am not recognizing that I'm done. I just want to put a pause in my behavior. That's not too scary is it? Apparently it is! Sheesh!!!!
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Anyway, yesterday ran away with me. It was a Christmas card perfect snowy Saturday--just right for going to a craft fair, which we did in the morning. Thanks to the iron-man I then went and swam 21 laps. LAST thing on earth I wanted to do--so kudos to ideas like the lazy man, it really helps. I did get some decent goggles this time. I might have worn them a bit too tight, but they really worked. My eyes feel fine. It made all the difference, and I was pleasantly surprised at how good the swim felt. Dave wanted to take the train to SLC in the evening and do some shopping at the Gateway, but I found out the Christmas Expo was going on at the expo center, so we made a last minute decision to see that instead. It was great fun! We took the train and the trax and started our Christmas shopping there. They really have some fabulous booths, including plenty of booths that offer free samples. We had LOTS of free samples. There were a few I passed up--like the bundt cake samples. Not that I don't like cake, I do, but for whatever reason I didn't really want it. Okay. that's good IE behavior, but I honestly don't know what to do about the other 30 or so samples that I honestly DID want but that were still far too much for me to be eating.
When we came out to go home it was a white out! It was fun and romantic to gasp our way to the train station. It took forever to get home, but it was ok because while we were waiting we were following Catherine as she ran the Disneyworld half marathon. She did great and finished! I was pretty worried, she hadn't trained, her hip has been bothering her, and after she finished running around theme parks with us, my sister came down and she ran around with her. This was a night marathon and she spent the day at Universal Studios going on rides and eating theme park food. Difficult to think of a worse way to prepare, but she pulled it off and I'm super proud of her.
Friday, November 9, 2012
The first snowy day that I've seen this year, that means indoor bike tonight I think.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Phone-wise. I resisted the idea of cell phones as long as I could. I still don't like being connected all the time. But since I've EXTREMELY picky about who gets my cell number it hasn't been bad. Still, for the past 4 years that we've had phones, Dave and I have had the cheapest, clunkiest models available. It's been good enough. This time, we decided to for once get something nice and boy is it nice!! It's going to take me some time to learn the ropes, but I've already downloaded a runners app and some songs. I bought an armband with the phone so I could work out and listen to books and music. I'm so excited!!! Yesterday was my first trial run (literally), I've only downloaded three songs, but I got the runners app working AND listened to music while I was running. The app is great! It told me how far I'd gone and what my pace was. This is so freeing--I'm no longer stuck just running the route I know or running on the weber treadmill to know how far I've gone. I can just go anywhere! It was wonderful to listen to music too.
This is not to say that all is pie in the sky. I was thinking as I ran about the power of negative voices. I WAS going extremely slowly and it was difficult not to be discouraged about that. However, the areas around my house have a lot of uphill stuff--very gentle uphill, but it's hard for me just the same. Amazing how hard it is not to focus on being slow and fat and instead focus on the joy of being out there at all.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
More on the benefits of having a real phone tomorrow.