Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Saturday, November 17, 2012

Big exercise

A Saturday to myself--sort of. Feeling somewhat oppressed with family. Neither Lisa or Catherine particuarly happy with me just now. Oh well. What can I do except stick to my guns with Catherine and try and do better with other family stuff. ANYWAY--I only mention it because mood is such a huge part of the eating problem. I'm glad to report that this weeks upsets didn't dramatically change my eating for the worse--it didn't improve it any, but I'm glad I'm not one who goes off into major binges when things go badly.

I go off and binge when occasions present themselves instead. :) Which is frequent. Last night we saw the last of the Twilight Movies. I'm not a huge fan, but I think the series is fun. On these occasions we have serious movie food. But last night might mark a real reduction in future movie food. That was one of the worst sandwiches I've ever had. Unfortunatley the fried potato things they do were still terrific, as was the shake and the popcorn. For not being very hungry at the time, I still put away plenty.

This morning though I wasn't hungry at all so I didn't eat even though I did have some big exercise planned for the lazy man. It was a beautiful fall day, so a ran a 5K first thing. I'm so slow, but you know what? It was still a little under Disney marathon required time (16 min mile--I'm not kidding when I say I'm slow). This 5 K route is a really good one for practice because it has quite a bit of uphill both steep and gentle. I downloaded "Run Keeper" on my phone and love it. Not only does it track while I'm running, but sends me emails about my workout and any personal records I may have broken, and I broke a bunch today! Great fun. Tonight I downloaded more songs to keep me company. After the 5K, I had a snack, and then about an hour later went to the gym and swam 21 laps for the iron man. For me, this is huge exercise. I like that mentally I didn't tie it to some kind of weird repentance for my movie night. I'm simply trying to reach an exercise goal.

I'm glad for the swimming part of the iron-man this time. I detested swimming in high school, because I was so poor at it, and always under pressure to go faster than I really could go. I didn't like swimming for the last iron-man because it was so hard on my eyes. This time has been better. My co-worker said she's rediscovered swimming and found it soothing. Mostly, I find it boring, but with my new good googles, I'm actually enjoying it a little. It IS soothing. Nobody's working me out. There's no peer pressure or inferiority--I just go at the pace that's comfortable for me. I can tell my body really likes the movements and lack of impact. I don't know if I'd ever become a regular swimmer, but I think it's moved into the "possible" category. I might throw it in now and again for variety in the future, and if I'm having knee troubles, it will occur to me now to at least consider swimming.

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