Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.

The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

A real phone!

I am really loving not being on a diet or feeling as though I'm supposed to be on a diet. I'm supposed to eat right and exercise and that I can do. Today I feel empowered.

Phone-wise. I resisted the idea of cell phones as long as I could. I still don't like being connected all the time. But since I've EXTREMELY picky about who gets my cell number it hasn't been bad. Still, for the past 4 years that we've had phones, Dave and I have had the cheapest, clunkiest models available. It's been good enough. This time, we decided to for once get something nice and boy is it nice!! It's going to take me some time to learn the ropes, but I've already downloaded a runners app and some songs. I bought an armband with the phone so I could work out and listen to books and music. I'm so excited!!! Yesterday was my first trial run (literally), I've only downloaded three songs, but I got the runners app working AND listened to music while I was running. The app is great! It told me how far I'd gone and what my pace was. This is so freeing--I'm no longer stuck just running the route I know or running on the weber treadmill to know how far I've gone. I can just go anywhere! It was wonderful to listen to music too.

This is not to say that all is pie in the sky. I was thinking as I ran about the power of negative voices. I WAS going extremely slowly and it was difficult not to be discouraged about that. However, the areas around my house have a lot of uphill stuff--very gentle uphill, but it's hard for me just the same. Amazing how hard it is not to focus on being slow and fat and instead focus on the joy of being out there at all.

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