Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Wednesday, May 30, 2012

424 Hungry

Uh oh---My system is clear and I am HUNGRY.  And that's after I've just eaten a banana, 2 wasa crisps w swiss cheese spread. I'm glad for it today though--I'm ready for another push down. Yesterday was great--I did find time for dinner by skipping the library. Today I'm roped into a Mary Kay party after work, but I brought dinner with me and should be able to eat and get to the library before the party.  I just don't understand how people aren't hungry on restrictive plans?? I use all my extra points every day and I just barely make it--and it's not like I'm just eating rice cakes.  Why am I hungry today? I had 1/2 cup of cottage cheese with blackberries and two slices of toast for breakfast, I just had a snack.  I'm afraid my lunch of soup, a meatloaf sandwich and a pear isn't going to cut it--but it should. Even I can see that it's plenty of food. Dinner will be pizza, a tortilla wrap and jicama. That leaves me 5 points in case there are cookies or something at the party. At least I never have to worry about becoming anorexic. Starvation has zero appeal for me.

Today I'm grateful for:
Good friends--had a wonderful conversation with Zsuzsi last night and I feel better about my family and life in general.
Leftover meatloaf
Pizza!
That every day is a new start.
The internet
other bloggers

No comments:

Post a Comment