Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.

The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!

Thursday, May 24, 2012

418 counting

Counting again. Not bad. It's rarely awful--so you would think I could stick to the plan. Not so--but I'm hoping the current attack will go well because (at least today) I feel much less resentful and entitled. I still want to eat more than I should--but I feel more like I'm wearing a cast. It would drive me crazy to wear a cast--especially in the summer being all hot and itchy, but I would wear it so I could heal. Weight loss the same thing. I just need to bear a little discomfort so I can heal. Here's todays "discomfort" I don't think I'll be winning many sympathy points:

Breakfast--oatmeal with a whole apple, splenda and cinnamon. Milk
Lunch--cup of soup, artesian bread with butter, banana, 1 oz cheese curds, little peppers stuffed w fat-free cheese, a bite of a moose bar.
Snack--tortilla roll up---this is a new one for me--I spread ff cream cheese on a tortilla, then topped it with olives, a little sweet pepper and chopped fresh spinach--rolled it up and cut it up for a snack. This one is a keeper--felt satisfying psychologically as well as physically.
Dinner--chicken with nectarine chutney, potatoes, veggies.
Dessert--a WW chocolate peanutbutter ice-cream sandwich.
maybe---popcorn if I have the points for it.

I hope tonight's run (2 miles on treadmill) will go easier. Last night, since it was the last swimming day, and I had run, I "celebrated" by also doing a little biking. I wanted to have at least one day where I did all three things in the same day. The other challenge is that I've lost my I-pod. Crud! That makes a big difference! I nearly died of boredom last night. Hell definitley contains treadmills that face a blank wall like Weber States do. Ugh!

Today I'm thankful for:
Great mystery writers
strongly flavored foods--olives, blue cheese etc.
my garden!
That I can run--bored or not.
That our lives are not dependent on whether or not Mom's house sells. The thought that the buyer might drop out because my family is dragging their feet, has me scared to death because it would such a relief if it would sell--but we'll be fine even if it doesn't. I'm just not a patient person, so this is good practice---aaarghghghg.

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