Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.

The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!

Friday, April 6, 2012

370 Waaay TMI

ok--the plan in my head is to get serious and break into the 170's--sheesh--it simply shouldn't be this hard to make any movement! It's not like this is a far away goal. I'd love to spend most of the next 6 months in the 170's and then most of the 6 months following in the 160's. It will happen if I do the work. It helps a lot the experiences in calorecount.com--I feel like this website lets people explore what works for them which is wonderful to see because nobody is the same. What's striking me as helpful is simply people saying that they weigh lesser weights than what I weigh. Someone might be 140 and trying to lose 10 pounds or be at goal at 160 or whatever, but I was thinking last night that weights like 140 and 150 seem less impossible to me. It's not a magic number that is produced by wishful thinking, sucking in my stomach and stepping lightly on the scale (all techniques that I frequently use).  It's just a normal human weight and someday I might overeat and feel as heavy as a rock and weigh 157 or something.

Anyway--the TMI part of this is something that's been bothering me for awhile and I really don't know how to fix it. The more faithfully I follow ww or any kind of plan that actually produces weight loss--the more time I spend in the bathroom. This is not just a matter of drinking a lot of water--I do that anyway. And it's not a small annoyance of having to go a bit more often. This is a matter of urges that are way too strong, and way too frequent. It has been disruptive enough that I went to the doctor about it and got a prescription--it helps a little. What helps A LOT is being off-track. When I eat as I please--which means plenty of high-fat food like cheese, I don't have a problem. Whether the fat is absorbing some of the water--or whether I'm simply not eating enough fat on ww I don't know. So great! I should probably eat more fat right? But fat is extrememly high-point/high calorie. I don't know how to eat more fat and still eat in any kind of quantity that would be satisfying. And yes, I know that fat is supposed to be more filling--and maybe it is, but if it is all I can say is that I've never noticed. On the contrary--the more fat I eat the more I seem to want--I love thickly buttered bread and packs of nuts and huge chunks of cheese. I do eat all those foods on ww--but in limited portions obviously. Frustrating! I'd love more fat--my body seems to be saying eat more fat, but if I do weight loss stops.

1 comment:

  1. Have you tried adding some more beneficial fats to your diet? Avacados, raw nuts, flax seed is really really good. I understand that it needs to be slightly ground in order for the body to assimilate it better.
    If I remember winter squash is a 0 point food.
    I don't know what else to tell you. But I'm with you, especially when the bread is fresh out of the oven.