I am TIRED. Yesterday was a fun day in a lot of ways, but in my mind it did NOT count as a day off which is what I was really hoping for. It's not often the weather wrecks my days--I'm usually reasonably flexible, but it wrecked yesterday. The plan was to sleep in then mess around in a leisurely way--if I was in the mood I might work at Mom's yard for an hour or two, pick up Catherine then go to the cheesecake factory and a lecture then take her back to Provo--for a late night for me, but a good day.
The first part worked sort-of--I felt like a really did want to work at Mom's and it seemed as though I probably could because it was supposed to be cloudy with showers. The morning was just like that--so I put some rolls on to rise and went to Lowes and bought 6 big bags of mulch in the "shower" which was pretty heavy as were the bags. I decided to go to SLC earlier rather than later with the idea of working as much as I liked and then going to Barnes and Noble if I were in the mood. What was a shower in Ogden was a full blown rain on the freeway and visibility was lousy. If there is anything I detest it is driving in bad weather. I got to SLC and it was pouring--much too hard to do any yard work, so I went to Barnes, but was all uptight and irritated because I was wet and cold and couldn't do the work I wanted. The rain never did let up so I went back to Mom's and unloaded the mulch rain and all--I went to Crown Burger to change clothes (felt a little better) then drove to 100 south (FAR) to hunt for Catherine's bus stop. (Hunting for addresses is second only to bad weather driving in things I really dislike). Things improved dramatically once I got Catherine--we went to the Cheesecake factory--I had those buffalo bites at last--pure heaven. But the waiter forgot to put in our order and we had to be at the lecture. So we had him box up the dinner as well as the dessert (white chocolate macademia nut cheesecake--ohh wow). On the bright side, he felt so bad that he gave us the cheesecake free. Really, it was fine--we were both full from the bites. (For as many calories as those were we should be fine) The lecture was interesting (God made me deaf), and the weather cleared--but we decided to impose on Lisa anyway and spend the night so we could play a little downtown and so I didn't have so far to drive in the dark. I did NOT sleep. I don't know why I couldn't, but I couldn't--we got up at 6--Catherine took forever, but I made it home by 7:20--jumped in the shower--cold and wet again and got to work.
I feel exhausted and foggy--this can work either way food wise. If I'm tired enough--the appetite goes. If not quite then I want to eat and eat and eat. Tonight everyone is coming up to go to pizza and then I'm done with the ridiculous eating at least for awhile. It's a good thing I didn't eat the dinner last night--what I did eat was plenty silly enough.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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