No I haven't missed a bunch of days--somewhere my numbering got off, but today is April 1st--officially one year since I really began this half-baked project. I'm down to 184--still a dizzingly exciting number for me despite the fact that I've been stalled here since Christmas. This is an overall average of 2 pounds a month. Slow, slow, slow--but I am PROUD of myself. I feel great, I look great, and I'm changing lifelong poor habits for lifelonger better ones. The exciting thing is the discovery that I was right---I CAN have it all. In many ways I enjoy more and better food than ever before. As this blog attests I still eat a LOT of the "bad" things and I ENJOY them!! Today we're having an early Easter because Catherine is home. That means Reeses peanut butter eggs, and ham and that's just fine. One full year and I'm still trying--that is a record for me. And if anyone is reading this blog you'll know that it hasn't been an easy year either.
Paradoxically the biggest reason for success this time (besides this blog) is the very imperfection of my attempts to live the weight watchers plan. I simply can't do it!! And because I can't do it/don't really WANT to do it all that well--I wind up just doing the best I can and making choices I can actually live with and be happy. Sometimes weightwatchers would approve of the choices, but much of the time they wouldn't! I don't approve of all my choices either! But it's good enough. The best I can do really is good enough. What a relief! For the upcoming year I hope to discover that I can make even better choices and instead of dying from deprivation--I will like feeling a little lighter. I'm sure I'll discover new favorite recipes and goodies---right now there is a half gallon of slow churned lite girl scout cookie thin mint flavor ice-cream in the freezer--an HG recommendation--GREAT STUFF!! I also went back to the health food store yesterday and bought the jar of mysterious French onion dip. Mysterious because it has no fat, no sugar, no carbs and NO CALORIES! What it's made of I can't imagine (the label doesn't help much), but I tried it and it isn't horrible--I will absolutely buy myself some baked lays potato chips and sit on the couch with chips and dip this week. April will bring another 1/2 marathon--May, I hope will bring another attempt at the lazy man iron man. I would be fantastic to be sitting here on April 1, 2013 weighing 165 (another 24 pounds)--but whether I go beyond that dream or don't quite make it it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that I'll be better than I am now and that's all that counts.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
Congratulations! It has been a difficult year, but you are here, you are still working at it, and even making headway. This achievement should be celebrated!! I suggest indulging in some internet window shopping. ;)
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your half marathon and the LMIM. I know you can do it!