95
I did what I said and am back somewhat uncomfortably, on the wagon. It's not so much that I exactly want more food right now, I only want the freedom to have more food should some become available---I mean, if someone showed up with a plate of warm cookies I would have to say no because my day is already planned and I wouldn't want to say no. The problem is a simple one--I'm overweight because I love food. Really love food--more than I love just about anything else. Restricting it does NOT feel good. However, being overweight doesn't feel good either. I just need to keep on working on being grateful for what I have---for example I'm not on some horrible frozen plan, or even one that's ridiculously restricted. I'm not just eating good food, I'm eating GREAT food--the best I can find, and if I pass up something today (like those cookies) I can have it tomorrow. Today for example, I was not hungry for breakfast again, but I want to keep the breakfast habit (I guess, everyone says it's so good for me--but I can't help but remember that in high school when I never ate breakfast I was a lot thinner), so I had a slice of Catherine's delicious sourdough bread some milk and a plum. I walked to work which felt great. I had a banana for a snack and am looking forward to a big fajita salad with baked corn tortilla chips on the side. If I'm still hungry after that I have a greek yogurt I can eat too. For dinner, C is making a Rachel Ray meal---chicken topped with Brie cheese and jelly in a puff pastry. So I'm hardly suffering--it's just that being on vacation sort of let the horse out of the barn so to speak, and the horse does not want to go back in. One mistake I made today that I will correct tomorrow is that I planned out my day for the full 36 points (29 normal allotment plus 7 extra from the weekly 49). I need to plan for 29 and then use those 7, if I want them, for extra stuff. I don't want to get accustomed to 36 being a bare minimum and then having no place to go if I need more.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
No comments:
Post a Comment