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I feel better today, less discouraged, more easily able to believe that weight loss might be possible and that my body will actually respond to weight loss by getting smaller. Here's a book idea I'd love to see--I've been wanting to see it for several years but I lack the know-how to do it myself. This would be a picture book and on each page would be a collage of all kinds of people wearing all kinds of different clothing--but each page would be devoted to a weight--The first page could be people weighing 120 pounds and each page could go up by 10 pounds up to whatever weight ---at least 300 pounds. It would be so helpful to me to "find myself" at whatever weight and then look up or down a few pages and visually see that losing or gaining weight makes a difference. It sounds obvious, and I know it in my mind, but I don't really believe it. Part of me thinks that if I gain 20 pounds nobody will notice because I'll look just the same (pass the cheese!) and I also believe that if I lose 20 pounds it won't make a difference either (pass the cheese!). Of course it would make differences to my health, but that's way to nebulous and far away to actually impact my current behavior. It's very hard not to do as I please with food when part of me thinks it won't make difference anyway.
I wonder how many people would be willing to be photographed? The heavier people might be a problem. Anyway--just another psychological glitch, but at least I know I'm being irrational.
Food-wise today should be ok. I had my favorite cream of wheat made with mik and topped with berries (raspberries this time) and splenda and a banana for breakfast. Lunch will be expensive--one of those chicken in puff pastry things--15 points, and dinner is leftovers--so I'm going for fajitas. All perfectly on track it's just that with the lunch I can't have any snacks or desserts and I'm finding it a little bit of an effort to remember that it's my CHOICE to eat the lunch I packed. Actually, speaking of choices--I could just eat 1/2 the chicken and then have some popcorn and chocolate too. Hmmmmm. have to think about that one--obviously that's not the healthiest choice--but if it keeps me more happily on track that is the right choice to make.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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