Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Tuesday, July 19, 2011

109 hmmph dilemma

Oh really.  Serves me right for weighing on a Tuesday, especially when I'm not feeling light. 195.  Hmmph.  At first I was proud that I was handling that number without any drama--it's just a fact.  But--1/2 an hour and a half later I'm still stewing so I suppose the drama is well and healthy.  I want to see 192!!  Well, you say, you had a major junk food orgy on Saturday.  Yes--but as orgy's go I think it was relatively moderate--I did eat the whole pastrami sandwich and the side of jr's and the grasshopper shake.  But I was pretty full after that--we ordered a large popcorn and between the three of us we didn't even eat a quarter of it, and I didn't eat very much candy either. At MOST I'd say the whole thing was what? 5,000 calories? That would equal a pound and a half--but I also hiked up waterfall canyon---a solid hour uphill.  And, I was too full to eat any dinner that night, and I've gotten right back on track.  Of course it's only Tuesday, so maybe this is just a flux upward, but the Tuesday weigh is usually a pretty good predictor of Friday so I'm irritated.  Sigh.  This project really is going to take a couple of years.  The dilemma for losing weight is this: it seems that unless I am actually hungry much of the time I don't lose anything. So, to be hungry or not?  I hate being hungry.  For breakfast today I had bacon, eggs and toast. All within points, but a reactionary solid breakfast. I DON'T want to be hungry and I DO want to lose weight.  I guess that breakfast was a way of saying to my body---"look, I'm going to eat this--ww says this is fine and I darn well expect you to cooperate." 
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