Psycology is a weird thing. Sure enough, as soon as I wrote yesterday that the day presented no particular problems, I was hit with boredom. It wasn't bad staying on plan, but I'd still rather not, and by saying that yesterday would be easy it opened up all kinds of thought on how much easier (and more pleasant!) it would be to not be on the plan at all! I bet its these exact type of feelings that sabotage people once they get to goal weight. I'm positive I'll want to relax and enjoy my achievement--it will be a HUGE achievement and I don't think I'll want to celebrate by continuing to do even more work that I never wanted to do in the first place. The closer I get the more I'll need to work on these feelings, and make darn sure that most of what will keep me at goal weight really will be things that I want to do. I don't know if today's meal planning was reactionary, but it seemed that I could hardly put anything together without racking up gigantic points.
Anyway, today is an official weigh-day. 193--exactly where I need to be by the end of the month for the insurance--exactly where I was before vacation, down one pound from last week and a tie for the lowest weight from the last time I was on WW. HUGE difference in the way I feel about it though. I was miserable on ww last time. The diet was unliveable for me. Their new program is much better--semi-livable now. I'm excited for the future---not excited enough to enjoy working for what I want, but excited just the same.
Today's challenge is our regular Friday night pizza and the ward pie and watermelon social. My plan for the social is simple--make it a watermelon social. Luckily for me pie is not nearly so much of a weakness as cookies. Also, since I know now that my peach pie is 15 points a slice that makes me much less inclined to indulge--talk about racking up fat and calories. I read that fitness guru, Jack Lalane once bragged in an interview that he hadn't had dessert since 1922. Apparently dessert is not necessary to sustain life. The other thing that I hope will help me be strong tonight is that I plan to have a major indulgence tomorrow. I'm going to see Harry Potter 7 part 2. I can NOT wait. Catherine went to the midnight viewing and woke me up at 3:00 a.m. to tell me it was amazing. The movie theater here sells terrific junk food. I think I wrote about this a few days ago, but I'm looking forward to this enough to repeat! Lunch will be---a fat pastrami and swiss sandwich with jr's (a kind of fry) and lots of fry sauce, a large popcorn with lots of butter, a shake with oreos and other add ins and a side of candy---snowcaps maybe? or something with nuts and chocolate? A serious question! Depressing to think that this "lunch" will probably have more calories and be worse for me than a thanksgiving dinner, but I don't care. I'm a huge Harry Potter fan--and a huge food fan and the chance to combine the two is something I don't want to miss. I also simply don't want to live a life where I would have to always miss out on stupid junk-food orgies. To help mitigate the damage I am planning to get up early and hike up waterfall canyon. It's a substantial hike and I'm hoping it will rev up my metabolism plus burn a few calories too. I'm determined to have my orgy and weight loss too. I plan to work hard and next week report that I'm in new weight loss territory.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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