It feels good to be really back on track. Especially when "on track" means a lemon muffin for breakfast, cheetos for lunch and cheesecake for dessert. I meant to write the other day that I had a very brief mirage style glimpse of paradise the other day. I think it came after lunch and the glimpse was that I was kind of done wanting to eat just then. Maybe maybe maybe someday I won't want to overeat. Maybe I'll like feeling good, and like eating food that makes me feel good and LIKE stopping and DISLIKE eating any more in the same way that I wouldn't want to drink a big glass of water if I'm not thirsty now. Today for once, there aren't any big challenges--Catherine is making chicken cordon bleu for dinner and I can't remember the points on it, but I know it's not a bad dish. I'm calling it 9 points. So here's what a fairly "normal" day looks like for me--it definitley entails compromises, but since I'm in charge of what gets compromised I feel reasonably content.
Breakfast--lemon creme muffin, banana, diet fruit juice.
Compromise---would have liked a glass of milk and another muffin, but I'd rather have dessert tonight.
Snack---no snack planned because I want cheetos with lunch--also, if I'm hungry, there's plenty of zero point soup.
Lunch--the infamous zero point soup, naan bread, cheddar cheese, greek yogurt, cheetos.
Compromise---as always I want way more cheese--cheese is the hardest compromise on the plan. But having real cheese helps. I chose 4 points worth of cheetos instead of another naan bread--a "dumb" choice in that it's less nutritious and also less filling, but I want it anyway, and if it helps me feel non-deprived, then it's a good choice.
Dinner--a big helping of chicken cordon bleu, and vegetables.
Compromise--I'd like to have a baked potato and a roll too, but I'd rather have a the really delicious cordon bleu (more cheese!) than a plain chicken with sides. Besides the chicken and veggies can be as filling as I need them to be.
Dessert---1/12 (an ok size piece) of chocolate chip cheesecake. A GREAT ww recipe--with crused oreos for a crust.
Exercise--the usual walking to work--but I think I'll add some just dance or lawn mowing as well.
I'll be on the desk again in 10 min--I think I will heat up some of that soup--it's ok for soup, not a real favorite, but a solid okay. Since it allows me to eat cheetos, naan bread, cheese and greek yogurt and be full, it moves up to being several steps above ok.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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