Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Saturday, July 23, 2011

113 A pizza compromise

FINALLY saw The King's Speech fabulous movie with lots of my beloved actors in it. Can't figure out why it's rated R--but also a little sad that anything with bad language isn't rated R.  Anyway---I was STARVED whe I got home last night.  Foolishy way too hungry. I'm hungry now too, and I just finished lunch.  Sigh.  I wish I didn't always want to eat more than I should eat.  Last night was not on plan, but still a huge improvement on what I might have eaten otherwise.  As pre-planned me and Dave shared a wise-guy calzone--these things are huge (though I could have easily eaten a whole one).  I wanted to get some of their famous cheesy bread which is to die for, but instead just ordered 2 slices of cheesy garlic toast.  Over points I'm sure, but a controlled reasonable amount, paired up with a gigantic salad it was a great and satisfying dinner.  Today I'm off kilter because I got up at 4:15 and did Catherine's paper route--a nice walk. I was a little hungry when I got home and decided to have breakfast then although it was early, with the idea that I would sleep better on a full stomach.  Mistake. As part of breakfast I had a big glass of water and some milk and some juice and I was up every hour going to the bathroom.  Now it's 2:15 and I want to take a nap.  Tonight we're having tacos, and since Catherine just got back from girl's camp it naturally triggered a desire to have s'mores too.  It's all planned out point-wise and I had a light lunch, which seemed satisfying at the time, but is not sticking at all now.  Oh well.  It probably means that at least I'm losing weight.  One thing I'm continuing is buying really expensive fancy cheese.  I just had an ounce of an imported blue cheese.  Delicious. I'm trying hard to be thankful for it (I really am) and not just wishing for three more helpings.  I seem to have a very high tolerance for rich foods--yes, I do reach the point where eventually another piece of chocolate doesn't sound good--but that's only after Christmas Day or something where I've already eaten about a pound of godiva. Ditto cheese, fudge, sauces.  Again feeling very thankful that I don't weigh 300 plus pounds.  I can't figure out why I don't.
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