Another Friday weigh in---still at 187--both thrilling and annoying. Thrilling, because it's the new low--and annoying because I got here last week, had the bleeping STOMACH FLU and am STILL sitting at this weight on the last Friday in Sept. so I will not meet the insurance goal according to the doctor's scales here. Oh well. The important thing is that I met the goal according to my home scale. I'll see what PEHP has to say, but I'm thinking the next goal for the end of Nov will be an exciting 181. WOW.
Yesterday was quite fun in that I just felt so light and comfortable in my body. It's just fun to move in a lighter body. My legs feel longer, and bending over feels different and better. Everyone always talks about how they "feel so much better and more energetic" when they lose weight. I don't know about energetic, but for me the "feeling better" part is quite literal. I don't catch as many colds when I'm eating right and I like the feeling of every position and movement being more comfortable than the last. It makes me excited for the future.
The future also hold good things food-wise. I plugged my stats into a new kind of online calculator and it estimated that to maintain a goal weight of 155 I would need to eat about 2,100 cal a day. That sounds fairly liveable. Also, I've really got to wonder how rigid a person needs to be? I've been reading a picture book (have I mentioned this?) Around the World in 80 diets and it shows what 80 different kinds of people have eaten on one particular day in their lives. The book goes from 800 cal of a Masai woman to 12,000 cal of the English binge eater. Most people are between 2,000 and 4,000 a day. But here's the thing--their weights don't seem to particuarly correspond to their food intake!!! Sure, some have high intake, but also high energy jobs, but there is a Chinese girl who weighs 106 who lives on KFC chicken. The book does say whether or not the picture shown is representative of their lifestyle and usually it pretty much is. Anyway, the point is that I very much hope that so long as I don't go out of my way to do a long string of stupid things once I hit goal weight ie: eat big meals out 5 times a week, that I too can eat like a normal human being. To me that means that I'm not counting points or calories, but that I have a natural range of intake that might flux up or down according to the day, but that overall keeps me where I need to be.
I don't plan on hitting goal weight and immediatley trying to jump into that kind of a lifestyle. When I gave up diet Coke it took a full three years before caffiene free diet coke gave me the same kind of satisfaction. My food addictions are much more pervasive and severe--I don't know how long it will be before living at 155 will feel as satisfying as living at 220. Probably more than 3 years, but I have hope that if I persist that someday I'll not only reach goal weight, but live it while eating pretty much anything and everything I feel like eating, because what I feel like will have changed.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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