Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Thursday, September 22, 2011

173--Not the highlight

Oh man--the Snickers bar was NOT the highlight of yesterday. I still have 1/2 of it left in fact. A few hours into work I began to feel sick to my stomach. At the time I contributed the feeling to the oil I ate in the morning--although that didn't really make sense---after all, I easily eat that much oil on popcorn and probaby 5 times as much on a greasy pizza and that never bothers me. It was a kind of overfull--I might feel better if I threw up kind of a feeling.  Also my shoulders and neck were aching.  At lunchtime I thought that if I ate something it might help absorb the oil. It helped.

I didn't really feel a whole lot better till about 8 in the evening--the ache passed itself off and my stomach felt a little better. I didn't eat dinner and I think that was the right choice too.  Today I'm still a little off.  I remember feeling a similar way once while I was working in the math dept. I do think it's a bit of a virus and not the oil. Nevertheless--no oil today. Blech.  But I will keep trying to work it in (EASY!), yesterday was the first day since I started WW that I haven't been running to the bathroom every hour.  That has become a real problem! Not just needing to go frequently, but needing to go IMMEDIATLEY.  It's gotten so bad that I went to the doctor and got a prescription.  The meds help a little, but yesterday's oil seemed to help a lot.

I had noticed before that when I eat "normally" meaning eating whatever I like (man, I really need to redefine normal), I don't have the bathroom problem. Talk about delicate tuning! I hope that just having a little will stop the problem without stopping weight loss.

Speaking of weight loss---the benefit of any stomach problem is weight loss!  188 today!!!  I love seeing numbers I haven't see in years. I realize that this is probably just a fluky thing--as soon as I eat anything I'll be back up--but I don't care--the lower those little flukes go, the harder it is for the upward spikes to hit really scary numbers. It's fun to think that I could go on a total binge today and still wouldn't hit 200 tomorrow.  I want to put as much distance as I can between me and 200. And I'm not tempted to eat a bunch today--I still feel off and I just need to hit 187 for the insurance goal.  SO CLOSE!!

188 means 20 pounds!  What a fight! 20 pounds in 25 weeks. Well, that's almost as good as what the SENSA ad promises--just goes to show one doesn't need any pills. And I still love that I've been able to incorporate real restaraunt meals and special occasions and vacations into my life. But today I want to be good--although, come to think of it, I'll still be including some junk food. I need to go to ww and log on the exact points but the day (assuming I don't get sicker) will go something like:
Bfast--english muffin w butter
1 oz cheddar cheese (not as appealing today as it usually is)
milk

Lunch:
wrap--these are always on whole wheat tortillas with horseradish, 6 slices of deli meat-usually roast beef-spinach and peppers, 6 olives, 21 cheeto puffs, yogurt.  1/2 snickers bar

Snack--banana

Dinner:
omelete with blue cheese, bacon, and maybe fried potatoes if I am hungry and have the points.

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