All right---today IS the official weigh day. 190. Meh. You know, if I could just put all the energy I spend treading weight loss water into forward momentum I could be done with this problem once and for all! I'm telling myself--probably truthfully, that I am weighing a little heavier because I ate so darn late last night. The original plan was to walk home at 5, eat dinner then go visit Sister Mead and go to my harp lesson. Plans change---my office is now closing at 5:30 on Thursdays--I sort of selectively chose not to notice that I was the one scheduled to stay late (this is fair because I'm taking my stats class during the workday and need to make up time. Anyway--I DID end up staying late then as I was walking home, Nanette the harp teacher asked if I would like the lesson at 6? Usually I love to do this--and I decided to do it last night too even though I was really hungry. So---dash home, grab harp books, run up to campus for the lesson, THEN go see Sis Mead, THEN finally get home around 7:30. I had dinner around 8:00. Too late and too hungry. Still, I didn't finish it all. The meal sounds perfectly good and it was--a porkchop I had marinated in a citrus marinade, noodles, green beans and a tomato and onion salad. A good dinner, but not one that lit up my taste buds and made me wish for more. I realized midway through that I was full and stopped. It brought to mind the stuff Mom used to make for dinner. She's a good cook, but back in the 70's when I was a lot thinner, she'd often make stuff like tuna casserole that was ok and nourishing, but nothing to get excited about. I think if I ate more meals like this it would be easier to control my weight. There really is a limit to the amount of tuna casserole one can eat. Problem is that I don't WANT a bunch of meals like this--I like looking forward to food and knowing it will be exactly what I want.
Still---stopping last night is a very good sign I think. Maybe I can begin to learn to stop when I'm full with exactly these sorts of situations--church food is a prime example. It's rare (as in once in my lifetime so far) that a ward dinner makes me excited. Usually, it at tuna casserole level. This is exciting come to think of it!!! This is how I quit eating fast food so much. I finally realized that I was never full and I didn't like that feeling. If I can begin to start happily passing up mediocre food when I'm full that will be a step toward passing up excellent food when I've had enough.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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