Feeling skinny today. I'm learning that feeling skinny doesn't have much to do with my actual weight--I mean within a pound or two I doubt I'm noticing a real difference, but it doesn't matter. Today I feel skinny and it's fun. My legs feel long, my pants are loose, my waist seems more defined. It makes me want to stay on course to get even farther along more quickly. It's weird to think I'm living at what is dream weight for some people and well below goal weight for some men. Makes me feel petite indeed! Today I'm also feeling pleased with points. Tonight's dinner is cobb salad. I figured out the points if I were to have it as I like it--real blue cheese dressing (4 TBLS--ok, I would like more, but this is reasonable), blue cheese crumbles, regular cheese cubes, meat, and bacon. Also on the side, 4 wasa crisp breads with butter and garlic salt. That comes in at a whopping 22 points. But you know what? That's not undoable! I had a lite bagel with cream cheese and a bowl of blackberries for b-fast. For lunch, I'm having a wrap, olives, zero point soup,watermelon and cheetos. I have a banana for a snack which I'll try and save until after work, because I have my lab tonight so it'll be a late dinner.
The other day I re-read this blog from the beginning. HOLY COW!! Talk about a record of addiction! On again, off again an endless record of 'exceptions' and rationale. And yet, I'm being successful anyway!!!! Looking back, it hasn't been a particuarly easy time emotionally--Mom getting cancer, some unhappy family encounters, Catherine wanting to join the military, financial stress, RS presidency stuff, a close contact with a suicide, and most of all---Catherine graduating from high school, getting ready for college and then LEAVING home. Any of those could have knocked me off track---come to think of it, all of them DID--and yet I'm still here. 19 pounds lighter--hoping to see 20 by Friday
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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