YAY!!! 189 today--I wasn't going to weigh till Friday, but I "digested" so well yesterday I thought it might actually translate into a lower number on the scale. I will carry on! My gosh, what a fight! And there's no guarantee I'll be this low on Friday--that's what's so frustrating. But it IS good to see that number again. Last Christmas I bought a bottle of fancy oil and balsamic vinegar bread dip. I had two tsp. of it this morning with some crackers. Weird for breakfast (I also had other stuff), but if it works--no complaints here.
I don't know how I'll ever learn to enjoy smaller portions and lighter eating. Like I said yesterday I was a little blindsided by a luncheon that I forgot about. I was pretty hungry going to lunch. And what they had were these marvelous big round turkey sandwiches--I don't know what the bread is, but it's the perfect combo of chewy and crusty with oil and salt. I've never been a mayo person, but whatever the mayo-like spread is is out of this world. The problem was that the sandwiches are so big that they were all cut in half on the platter. There was a smallish bowl of an iceberg based lettuce salad with italian dressing and a plate of cookies. NOT a great point lunch. Everyone was only taking a half of a sandwich. The plates were small, so we all also only took a little salad. I took one macademia nut cookie. Oh my gosh. I was hungry when I started eating, I was STARVING after I'd finished. It was pure peer pressure that kept me from going back for the second half of the sandwich. The other thing that saved me was that I had brought two wasa crisps and a laughing cow cheese for lunch. If it hadn't been for that I probably would have snagged another sandwich half--or possibly two I was that hungry, on the way out. To heck with peer pressure! But I didn't. With a deep sigh I threw away my plate and fled to my office where I wolfed down my snack, plus the apple I'd brought for my other lunch. Barely ok. After about an hour it was better, but that was a hard lunch!! Paid off though! 189 today. The other good thing was that after work I went to the gym. I wasn't particuarly in the mood, but I'm glad I went. I felt strong. I even upped a few of the weights because my arms seemed to want to lift them. Right on body! The weather was perfect--it will be perfect all week, so I've really been enjoying my walks to work. Dinner was the mystery chili--but it might even have been the Wylie's goulash that I'd planned---whatever it was I knew it was healthy, because that's the only kind of chili I make. I had two mini corn muffins, and a small slice of mom's zuchinini bread with a banana and chocolate pb2 for dessert. Not bad! I got to eat at a reasonable hour and I'm sure that helped. Overall, it was a weird point day--not much idea how much anything was worth, but I did my best with it. It's nice to have the body respond on the next day.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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