Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Tuesday, September 6, 2011

157 Purse

ACK! Fuddruckers was closed for remodeling. We wound up at Chili's--not a terrible place, there are some nice diet-friendly options, not that any of us chose them.  I lost control over the chips and salsa.  But this is IT. I've been putzing around at the same weight for a month now.  I need to lose 3 more pounds to make goal.  I can do it, but only if I quit doing silly things. Challenges are always here. I have a BBQ coming up on Friday, and a housewarming party on Saturday. I'm determined to finish September strong. 

Now having said that, I still think that this path (with all of its deviations), is the right one for me. I'm SLOWLY beginning to believe that great off plan food will always be there--some I can incorporate right into the plan, sometimes I will indulge, but I don't need to always indulge because the same food will be there the next day and the next and the next and the next. I'm almost at the point where I can put that into action. At the baptism on Saturday I mentioned that I loaded up on fruits and salad and had two pieces of pizza which I had the points for.  I almost didn't go back for the second piece. I really didn't need/want it, but I'm just not quite at the place where I can easily say no to something I love just because I'm not hungry--especially if I actually have the points to have it. But I'm convinced that saying no to that second slice when it isn't wanted, is exactly how thin people stay thin. They're not deprived. They had the pizza. They just have the sense to realize that they don't want that second piece, even if they know it will taste good.  I'm getting there, just slowly slowly slowly.

I'm also going to forgive myself for August. This is a little scary to do--the line between forgiving myself for mistakes and rationalizing those mistakes is very thin. Maybe simply stating the truth will be the most helpful thing. August was genuinely a very stressful month. Most of the time I stayed on track anyway, but I ate at far too many restaraunts and had far too many other indulgences whenever a "special occasion" came up. I made no attempt to control anything at these times (except the educators BBQ--a little self-control there).  Result: maintained weight rather than lose. What should I do? Obviously, press on and do better. Will beating myself up for August be of any practical benefit? No. It will only discourage me. SO! Moving on in a positive way---it is also a fact that the weight I maintained was for me, a very low one. Pat on the back for staying at 190 and for bringing a very healthy lunch to the zoo! A pat for lifting weights on Friday. And a big pat for re-grouping and going forward again. My day is planned today and it should be fairly easy to handle since I'm still full from last night's dinner.

Now for two fun things results. It used to take aboiut 35 min to walk to campus. Today I left late and made it easily in about 20 min--that's without being out of breath! The other fun thing is my purse. I have a cute little bag--the only drawback was that the strap was a little too short to wear comfortably over one shoulder, so when I lost my wallet, I bought a different purse/wallet with a longer strap. I've never liked the new purse quite as well--I couldn't drop keys or my cell phone easily into it. Yesterday I decided to switch back, and the old purse's strap had magically grown longer! I wore it all over the zoo with no tugging or adjusting at all. Hey! bonus third thing--Christine is always picking up free clothes and passing them on to us. There was a nice shirt that looked small, but it fit!

So--good things are happening. A stall in August is far better than an out of control gain. Moving on--the dream is that I'll hit the 170's before we go to Hawaii.

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