Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.

The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

484 Understanding

Boy, does it feel good to read this book!! I'm not sure it has all the answers, but at least the author understands the ISSUES!!! This is the exact opposite of weight watchers that claims to have all kinds of answers, but as far as I can see has NO IDEA of the problems of weight loss even are.

For example--last night I read about a woman who learned intutive eating well enough that she knew when she was full and knew when she had reached that last magic bite that would satisfy here. She STILL had a problem because she was angry that she was full before she wanted to be done eating. She still wanted the taste and the sensation and the pleasure of eating to continue--but her body was signaling enough. HOORAY!!!! That is often EXACTLY how I feel. That's why I was writing yesterday about the need to avoid temptation. It's nice that I can go to the cheesecake factory and have cheesecake--but the cake is very rich and odds are that my body will be finished looooong before my mind is finished.

So what to do? Well, I could use more help on this part---basically their idea is that by continuting to apply their principles--honoring hunger, never restricting food, honoring fullness, looking for ways to satisfy other needs like boredom or anxiety without food, that eventually these feelings of wanting more even after I'm done will ease up. Well....I hope so. What can I do but keep trying? At least I feel validated.

Another thing that I really liked was the very simple and obvious sentence that went something like, "It's not appropriate to use food to deal with emotions." OKAY!! Yes! One of those things that I "know" but good for me to hear. That's not to say that people don't use food for emotional reasons--they do all the time, and it's ok to use food to soothe and protect sometimes--just not all the time. It's not supposed to be the first and only go-to coping mechanism.

1 comment:

  1. Hooray!!! I love reading something that completely validates me!

    Love you!