Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.

The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

483 temptation

Batman is THE movie to see. LOOOOOONG movie! I think it would be greatly improved if it had been a good hour shorter. We ate lunch at the movies--a noted vice. My sandwich wasn't as good as it usually is, the jr's (a kind of flattened tater-tot) were fantastic as usual, and I wanted movie popcorn. I left the crusts, didn't finish the jr's and didn't finish the popcorn either. Still, I ate a great deal more than my body needed I'm sure. Later, I made cobb salads for dinner---those turned out to be larger than I meant to make. It felt good to use real blue cheese dressing. The small triumph for today was the croutons--for some reason I didn't want any on my salad. I don't know why--I like croutons, but I didn't want them. Anyway---two thoughts--I never want to be told what I can and can't eat again. It's feeling really really good and right to have access to everything. On the other hand---overeating is a weakness. It makes sense to avoid places where there is a lot of temptation. That's not to say I'll never go to the movies again. I will, and I'll have popcorn and maybe even lunch--but I don't need to seek out reasons to weaken my body. Rather, I want to surround myself with healthier places and thinking--I don't know how this will translate in the real world. Luckily, I work in a very healthy minded office. I sense at this point this will not be so much of a change in behavior, as a change of thinking. To begin to become something other than the rebel dieter. There is a big difference in thinking--"I have to eat this or that" or "I can't eat this or that" to thinking---"what would be best for me right now?" Perhaps often, what would be best would be to stop and let my poor digestive system rest once in a while. I can also forsee when the best thing will literally be a large piece of chocolate coconut brownie. In the meantime, I'll keep working on exercise. I got up and walked a 5K with Dave today in addition to mowing the lawn. It felt good.

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