Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.

The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!

Monday, July 9, 2012

464 Peaches and fries

Counting today. Had a yummy breakfast of a fresh peach with milk and splenda and a lite bagel with spinach avacado spread. Tonight I'm trying two new hungry girl recipes--a crunchy chicken strip thing and some ranch bacon butternut squash fries. Tomorrow it's exceptions all the way---potluck at work and RS activity with dinner. I have GOT to figure out hwo to manage this stuff. I don't want to count calories or points at a potluck. So the solution should be to load up on the fruits and veggies and go easy on the stuff I know is calorie dense. I have the hardest time with that though--a potluck means CELEBRATION and to not dig in and have everything I want signals deprivation in a major way. I need to mentally unhook those things. It still is a celebration whether I eat like a pig or not. And I am still enjoying everything and it's still an extravagence because of all the variety that I don't usually get. Why not enjoy the fun on sampling and ALSO enjoy the fun of becoming slimmer?


  1. A fresh peach sounds lovely! Yesterday for breakfast I ate a bowl of fresh cherries. It was glorious.
    I have spent a lot of time thinking about weightloss. (My sister would probably tell me too much thinking and not enough action.) Some time ago I came to the conclusion that our bodies shouldn't be something that we are battling, that it shouldn't be a constant fight. I think that we shouldn't have to spend our whole lives in constant worry about every little thing we want or choose to eat.
    I know, easier said than done though. If I ever figure out the magic formula to actually accomplish this I will let you know.

    I might have shared with you before the book that my sister in law passed onto me. (She's a hospital dietitian) It's Intuitive Eating.
    When I read it I was amazed that what they were teaching was exactly how I was feeling. Then a couple of days ago I came across a blog of this girl that lost 135lbs. Usually I avoid blogs like that because they seem so . . . I'm not sure how to describe it . . . out of perspective? brutal in a Biggest Looser sort of way, I guess. Anyway, this girl Andrea talks about her weightloss in a completely different way. She gets very honest about the reasons and feelings involved. And she talks about herself before and herself after the weightloss. It is beautiful.
    I started with this page. http://www.canyoustayfordinner.com/what-i-miss-from-135lbs-ago/
    There are some days I wish I could just magically make all the weight go away, but I know that's not going to happen. So I spend a lot of time praying that the Lord will bless me and try to keep faith in the scripture that He will make weak things strong.

    Hope you have a great day!
    Love ya

  2. Thanks for the wonderful comment!!!!! I'll check out that blog for sure. I also like losingweight.blogspot.com and myjourneytofindingme.blogspot.com. The first is by a guy who has dropped from 505 lbs to 230. He's super positive and an inspirational read. The second is by a great lady who has lost 53 lbs and has 100+ lbs to go. Her blog strikes me as more realistic--because like me, she falls off the wagon all the time--and yet, she's successful. I'm really rooting for her. Believe me, if I ever figure out the magic formula I'll let you know!