Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Sunday, July 22, 2012

482 Church snack

This is really going to take some practice. Next week I'm going to bring a snack to church. On the one hand this is right in line with my normal habits--I always get hungry inbetween breakfast and lunch, but oddly, not between lunch and dinner even though that can be a very long stretch. Still, I feel ridiculous. Church is only 3 hours long--I can last it out for pete's sake! Yes, I can. But I was quite hungry for lunch and I might have eaten less overall if I had had a snack. A snack it will be next week.

Also tricky--learning what full is. For example--right now it's 10 p.m. and I could easily put away a full meal if I were at a restaraunt. But Dave just offered me a backwards Oreo cookie (design side in--someone at quality control missed that one) and I had no desire for it whatsoever. Am I hungry or full? Or just simply have I had enough Oreos for today?

Lunch also tricky---I had what I wanted--the leftover pizza, some watermelon, a cabbage salad, some veggies some doritos. I was still genuinely hungry. Had a muffin and a small glass of milk too. Felt ok---far from stuffed, but ok. You know how they say it takes 20 minutes to fell full? Maybe my clock is slow. I think it takes me more like an hour to feel full. I'm already the world's slowest eater--that lunch took me longer than 20 min, but I didn't really feel as though I didn't want more food until I was drifing off for my Sunday nap. I want to use some common sense, but I want to make sure it IS common sense and not just bad habits in either direction.

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