Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Friday, February 10, 2012

308 low energy

Aww heck. One pound. 187. The discouraging thing is that I was reading some old posts here and I was fooling around with this weight clear back in August!!! But ok. 187 is down 1 pound from last week. It's just hard to be reasonable and remember that last Friday I had a pizza orgy. What I CLEARLY remember is that yesterday I passed up the work cinnamon rolls AND did an extra dance workout. I hate re-losing weight. But, if one thing is clear in this blog is that my heart is hardly wholeheartedly in this endeavor. This is half-baked in every way.  So---okay. Pressing on to be 181 by the end of March. Totally do-able. 

Today was low-energy in the workout world. It's a gorgeous day so I thought I'd run my 12 minutes outside finishing up at the gym where I would do my strength training. I learned something. I am not yet fit enough to handle going uphill. I did ok on the flat, but simply fizzled and died going uphill. 8 minutes total. I gasped my way--walking up to the gym and then did my normal workout which seemed to take twice the normal effort. But it's done.

Tonight we're having pizza again, but I'm not planning a big feast.  A simple pizza dinner and then to the community valentines dance! Should be fun.  There will probably be cookies and I'm planning on having one.  ONE, not five.

Today I'm grateful for:

Margarita's breakfast burritos--I had one--and wanted two. Compromised with 1 1/2
Fat free cream cheese and sour cream
Caffeine free diet coke
Cookies
Olives
valentine's chocolates

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