Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Tuesday, November 29, 2011

238 Fat thinking

I'm so glad I'm keeping this blog.  Maybe someday it will help someone. Once I've lost 50 pounds someone can read this and think, "If efforts this lame were successful maybe I shouldn't give up just because I blew my diet today."  In the meantime it helps me. I've lost a total of 42 pounds--22 since blogging here and 20 from before that with efforts no less lame.  CAN be done and I will keep at it  until I win.  Yesterday I had a great day. Today my breakfast and dinner will be on track--it's lunch that's the problem---the institute Christmas luncheon--serving only my biggest weakness--appetizers. I have no intention of doing anything moderate about it other than eating as many veggies as I can. I suppose thinking that I must indulge in the appetizer buffet IS fat thinking, but since I'm not really willing to deal with that, it wasn't what I was thinking when I titled this blog. No, the fat thinking was the pumpkin bread. I had to go to a class today and pass out evaluations for the students to fill out. The teacher had made chocolate chip pumpkin bread for the class. This was NOT a part of my plan for the day, but (here's the fat thinking) since I was going to have a rich lunch anyway...  Silly.  The fat thinking was further compounded by the fact that the teacher was the lady who led last year's walking group and talked a lot about intuitive eating. Well!!  Since I intuitively wanted the pumpkin bread--then that further justified my eating it.  So I did.  Truth was I don't think I did intuitively want it. I wasn't hungry, it didn't sound exceptionally appealing, it's just that pumpkin bread always sounds good so down it went.
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