Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Saturday, November 5, 2011

215 Happy Irrational

Catherine is home for the weekend. It makes it feel like a holiday.  I did very well yesterday. Was moving some boxes around at work so I got a little exercise there too as well as walking to and from work.  I had lots of points left for dinner so I didn't feel too guilty about the pizza and cookies. I actually wanted to do one thing right (as opposed to making myself do something right)--I wanted garlic toast but we hadn't bought any, but just eating pizza and veggie tray stuff didn't sound filling so I made some fake garlic toast with 2 slices of diet bread with I can't believe it's not butter and garlic salt--a three point option.  The good thing was that the toast was a FAR FAR FAR better choice than having another slice or two of pizza--and this choice was NOT about trying to be good. This was a choice about wanting a satisfying pizza dinner.  Anyway the irrational part was this morning--I slept in and went to the bathroom and saw the scale. A little voice in my head said, "Maybe I'll weigh 186!" To which the another part answered--"you had pizza and cookies last night. What do you think you weigh?" "186,!" the real fundamental me answers.   Reality? 187. Which is totally fine--even something of a relief, but silly. Weighing daily is stupid--it doesn't mean anything.
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