Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Thursday, November 17, 2011

227 long day

Strangely don't feel nearly as badly about family as I did about Riley's baptism in Sept. I think it's because I'm in control--more or less. I only have to make decisions and others can act however they want. Whereas with the baptism, it was too important to me that people that I couldn't control behaived in a certain way. Anyway, I'm grateful for the absence of depressed feelings today. Although today will be a LONG day.  I got up early to take Dave to the airport, then to work, then a stats test right after--those always take at least 2 1/2 hours and then harp lesson right after that. I won't be done till 8 or 9 tonight.  Too long. But some bright spots are that today is the bookclub lunch--maybe that shouldn't qualify as a bright spot since it means eating off track, but it IS nice to have a break today.  Also, I've learned from previous experience not to take a test hungry, so I have some nuts and deli meat. Actually, this weekend is proving hard to manage--I might go to the movies tomorrow, and I hope to be taking Christine out to dinner, and I'll be doing the grocery shopping for Thanksgiving. Overscheduling is always an issue. This weekend is my choice though--I only HAVE to do the shopping, pick up Dave from the airport on Sunday, and take Christine out. I WANT to do a bunch of Christimas shopping. Anyway---I continue to mantain what for me is a low weight, but it's frustrating, because I want to lose---I just don't want to work for it.  I'm also still fantasizing about Cheesecake Factory Buffalo bites, but it would be awfully expensive to take Christine there--not to mention setting a horrible example and blowing my eating plan all at the same time.  Just no end to the bad choices a person can make, :)
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