Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Tuesday, November 8, 2011

218 Small Mom

Good day yesterday until the very end. I walked to and from work--this is a good workout especially in the mornings because I always leave late and so have to walk as fast as I can.  Both my legs feel unusually tight though. I'll have to break down and actually do some stretching.  It was a long day. After work we took the green car down to SLC--with Catherine at BYU and my parents getting older, I am seeing a whole lot more of the freeway than I care too!  These cars have been a royal pain. I won't go into detail here. Basically we had three cars and only need two.  I just hope we got rid of the right one! All three have suddenly decided to have issues. I have romatic feelings about the days of horses--at least when they get old they reproduce!  Anyway, we took the car to Mom's. She's looking awfully small and thin. And I'm sure she wasn't always that short.  I'll be thankful when the chemo is over for her. On the whole she's been tolerating it well, but these last few rounds have been hard on her, and she was complaining that she can't get warm. It's just hard to see her that way. This is my indestructible German Mom!!  But she's cooking--and that's a good sign. Unfortunately what she had cooked was a streusel-topped pumpkin cake. Oh YUM. The topping involved nuts, sugar and heavy cream. I really couldn't get out of having one small piece (not that I wanted to get out of it). But it's the second small piece that I'm feeling a little guilty about. It's a miracle I didn't weigh 300 lbs in high school. I grew up on stuff like this. It was considered legitimate breakfast food! No wonder I was always hungry--very few fruits and veggies and I must have always been crashing from sugar highs. This also explains why "normal" food is so unsatisfying. I think my mind demands a certain (large) amount of fat, carbs and sugar before I feel as though I've eaten anything at all. Far from feeling sluggish and weighed down, I feel GREAT after a typical German meal of bread, butter, wurst, cheese and dessert. My only problem is that I don't have a farm to go to to work it off. Oh well, things are slowly changing. I read somewhere that "you crave what you know." Very true. I can honestly say that now my German meal would seem incomplete to me without a fruit or veggie to go with it.

 On the bright side last night, even though both me and Dave were tired and stressed and hungry--we didn't bolt to the nearest fat-laden restaraunt. We went home and had soup and sandwiches and then went to SLC.

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