Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Wednesday, November 2, 2011

212 Coming Back

Well, yesterday didn't go as planned, but it was a good on-track day just the same. I had a big stats test right after work. The original plan was to eat dinner before the test, but when the time came I wasn't very hungry and I really wanted to get the test overwith so that's what I did.  Dinner at home was very close to what I had planned here--"dinner in a pumpkin" as opposed to wylies goulash. The pumpkin dinner had beef instead of turkey, but I also didn't have the crackers and cheeseball to go with it so I figure it evened out.  The thing that didn't happen was exercise. It was too cold and dark to walk home and I was simply too beat to do it---ok, truth is I got derailed by Dave's Star Trek episode, and then I really wanted to practice the harp since I've missed a few days.  So that's what I did---a great harp practice, which I wish happened more often than it does.

Today I hope will be better still.  Despite the cold I walked to work (thighs are unhappy--not as recovered as I thought).  And I'm planning a good on track day complete with chocolate. The big test is behind me, and I think the worst of the semester is over. 

I don't know if I'll make the Hawaii goal, but I feel reasonably confident that I can at least make some progress. One thing I noticed on the marathon that I didn't like AT ALL about myself is the way I never quite seemed to make the goal I set. We did a lot of short jogging spurts. I'd say something like;"lets run to that bench or tree" and then inevitably, I'd jog most of the way and then slow down and start walking the last little bit. Why did I do that? And why am I doing it now? Why am I stopping/slowing down when the goals get close? I can at least work on the jogging part. Next time I'm out for a walk I want to start jogging little bits in hopes of someday being able to qualify for the Disneyland half marathon. I'll make sure the targets I set--the tree, the bench are really close so that there is no question but that I can jog all the way to the target. Weight-loss goals are trickier because I can't control the scale only what I'll do, but now that I'm a little more aware I can make a point to press on more firmly before a big weigh day instead of relaxing just before I get there.

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