Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Saturday, November 19, 2011

229 Visual

Saw the new Twilight movie--quite fun!  Learned a couple of things too. The first was a big DUH! moment.  I am an EXTREMELY visual person, and am strongly motivated by beauty.  I was watching the wedding scene (I've always had a weakness for bridal gowns) and felt a jolt of motivation. I assume because there are thin people all around me that I should be motivated enough by that, but usually no--because while clothes are often nice, they don't usually stop me in my tracks and when they do, I can't exactly stare like I would at a sunset or a movie screen.  I need to stare! I will make a point of finding pictures that motivate me from here on out.

Second--I'll never order the large shake at the movies again. Happily, it was a waste of money. I treated myself to dinner at the Sonora Grill a very nice Mexican restaurant which came with chips, so I didn't feel as though I wanted movie popcorn too, but I did want dessert. I ordered a large grasshopper shake with reeses cups. Ugh. I barely ate the top off the shake--love reeses cups, but there were so many in the shake (YUM!) that I bet it would have been like eating 6 candy bars. As it was, the part I did eat, was still too much, but I'm happy that at least I didn't feel like eating the whole thing.

I'm not looking forward to today. I need to do the major grocery shopping. But the thing I dread is to go to SLC and discuss with Lisa what needs to happen to best support my nephew. I'm sure I won't want to do what needs to be done, but I am determined to do what's right. This would be made a great deal easier if I were sure if what I think is right really IS right.

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