Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Wednesday, November 9, 2011

219 EWWWWW

I continue to be both reasonably on-track, but also sloppy about counting.  I actually missed counting yesterday. It was a long day with a Relief Society meeting at the end of it. When I came home I wanted a gingerbread cookie and one of those 2 pt Halloween chocolates and a glass of milk. Was this within range? Maybe? It annoyed me that I didn't know.  Today I will track and I will know and that makes me feel better. I especially love it when I make plans that include things like snickers bars or sleeves of almonds or cookies.

 I want to get on my soapbox again about issues diet plans never seem to deal with.  I was talking to a friend yesterday who is super overweight. She's perceptive enough to realize that one of the big reasons she's overweight hasn't gone away so it's unlikely that she will lose weight. Another reason is that when she has lost weight in the past her skin gets all loose and saggy everywhere and she's actually grossed out by this. She feels she actually looks better fat than thin--and she's probably right! She'd have a hard time affording surgery. I wish weight loss companies would talk more about the BENEFITS of being overweight. How can a person possibly lose weight if they aren't dealing with the things they are giving up? I haven't even heard the obvious ones--food and exercise dealt with very well.  One of the prime benefits of being overweight for me is the food.  The food is FANTASTIC. Yes, I know a turkey sandwich is better for me than a blue cheese bacon burger. I need more help than the industry offers in wanting the sandwich. Come on WW---I can't turn off the brain that is calling for the burger---news flash---I don't WANT the turkey sandwich.  Anyway, same with exercise--in the short term it feels much better to sleep in than to get up and exercise. Saggy skin is not socially acceptable. Losing weight can upset the comfort of a marriage. And what about clothes? This is a minor one, but it IS a small obsticle.  Yes, it's great to buy new and smaller clothing, but what if you don't have a lot of money? What if you're my friend Jennifer who has invested a great deal of money into great clothes that won't fit anymore? Last weekend I realized that my all time favorite sweatshirt is not wearable anymore--it's waay too big and I look like a homeless refugee. Part of me is cheering--but the other part is just as real and it is sad to see that sweatshirt go.  Sometimes it's nice to be fat and invisible--people pay more attention to beautiful people thus opening up a whole pandora's box of new ways to make mistakes. 

So---issues big and small.  Of COURSE being at a healthy weight outweighs the drawbacks. I think most overweight people know this and even accept it in their heads. It's the heart that needs a little help.

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