Today's challenge is going to be stress eating. I've got to get this presentation together for Aruba and I feel really lost as to how to go about it. On the one hand it seems sort of simple--I only need to speak for half an hour on the other hand Dave keeps telling me I need to do all this research and figure out my statistics (no IDEA how to do that!). It's important to me not to embarrass him--also be nice not to embarrass myself. But I don't want to burden him too much with this because he's also doing Catherine's presentation as well as his own. Dr. Fowler, my advisor on this project, is on sabbatical--and I'd be reluctant to bother her anyway because she already went way beyond the call of duty to get this thing approved in the first place and to help get the IRB approval for the survey (a collosal pain in the behind). Plus, at this stage with the trip next month, I'd be embarrassed to confess how little I've done. SO--today I will do.....SOMETHING!! When I feel this way food is the number one thing I use to relieve anxiety. Well, the number two---happily the number one thing is to do something about what's causing the anxiety. SO--really, what will I do? I'm going to call some of the people for interviews. I'm going to look up the articles Zsuzsi suggested, I'm going to read at least one other article that's on my desk. I can begin to do some simple statistics---what percentage did this or that. Ok. There is plenty I CAN do. Course, I don't want to do any of it, but I'll feel a whole lot better when I do. Just do a little bit every day right? Finals are over. The mural project is in (have I mentioned that one? much more on that topic if it comes through.) I've got the carrots going--but it's not going to be enough. I'll need the microwave popcorn too.
Food-wise---going well!! Tomato sauce and tomato paste are on the core plan, but I wasn't sure about canned spaghetti sauce. We went to Walmart (hate walmart) right after work, got Catherine's graduation pics, some flowers for the front so our house looks a little less like a war zone, and didn't get home until 6:45. All of us hungry--but I had spaghetti from scratch on the table in less than 1/2 an hour! Go mom! Afterward I planted the pansys and practiced my neglected harp. All productive and necessary, but I know full well I'm neglecting the Aruba research. I'm also stressed about money. C's graduation has been a money bleed and we're about bled dry. Still, she's my only child and I WANT her to have a new dress and a grad party and go out to a nice lunch for graduation. I too was an only child for 10 years and I'm spoiled enough to want what I want and to heck with the consequences---also something I take out in food, because I really can't go completely crazy with money.
Anyway---wonderful breakfast--cream of wheat (love that) with fresh blackberries courtesy of Mom. I would eat that breakfast whether or not I'm trying to lose weight, so it's an exceptionally good one for me. Then a walk to work on a gorgeous morning---saw 7 new ducklings at the pond! Leftover spaghetti for lunch and Nachos for dinner. Hooray for comfort food.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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