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Hey!! Down another pound to 196--for a total of 12 pounds lost! All right!!!!! I fully expected to go up this week and was feeling annoyed with the choices I made. Actually, I'm still annoyed--Famous Daves I don't feel bad about, the food was really good. But looking back at the conference, there wasn't much that was that great. I really liked the eggs (unusual for me), but the bacon was flavorless and the sausage gravy was runny. The best thing were the brownies the first day--they had some fantastic flavoring, but everything else wasn't worth going overboard for.
The pound is great, but the real thing to celebrate is the change of attitude. I honestly don't feel entitled to this pound--whereas in the past, especially given the half-marathon in this week, I would have felt TOTALLY entitled to at least a pound and would have probably been upset that it wasn't more. Better still, I'm honestly not thinking in terms of...."wow, I ate all this stuff and still lost, therefore I'm entitled to eat this much again (and maybe even more!) and I still could lose!" For once I want to do better. The questions are more along the lines of "how much can I exercise?" and "how well can I stick to the plan?" as opposed to "how much can I get away with?" It's taken a good five years to get to this point. I only hope the attitude sticks.
Today's eating will help too, but I don't really care. I'm fasting for Mom. She's in surgery. Lisa tells me that the doctor said this kind of tumor has a 95% chance of being cancerous and it is a very bad kind of cancer to have. Still, she just went into surgery about an hour ago and I'm trying not to worry more than I can help. Why fret about cancer until we know for sure--and even then, people beat cancer all the time. If not, at least we have some time to plan. This sounds silly, but I want Mom to go to Hawaii. She's been looking forward to the trip and I think she should go!
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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