48
Day 48 is shaping up to be a good day. It's Wednesday and Friday is my weigh in day, but I confess that I often step on the scale on Wednesday just to sort of see if anything has happened and to kind of brace myself in case I don't see a loss on Friday. A couple of times the Friday weight is 2 pounds lower than Wednesday--which REALLY means I need to stop weighing in early because then I'll be unreasonably disappointed on Friday. But today--happy day--I weighed in and the two pounds I gained on the lava hot springs trip are gone. I would absolutley love it if one more pound vanished by Friday--that way I can feel as though I only had one week that didn't show loss.
Anyway---I weasled out of my church meeting yesterday, and I'm glad I did. (the rationalization is that honestly, I don't do that very often) I got to the DI and bought some throw away clothes to wear on the half-marathon this Saturday!! Have I even mentioned this little item? I joined a walking group at Weber last January and we're all walking the half-marathon! I'm super excited--this is a huge event with an expo on friday night and all kinds of support. I'm told I don't even need to bring a water bottle---water and snacks will be provided all the way down. It's supposed to be a gorgeous walk down Ogden Canyon. I'm a little worried about my beat-up old tennis shoes, but they've carried me everywhere so far. Immediately after the marathon is Catherine's party. All I can say is that on Saturday night I am RELAXING!! I'd like to go out to dinner, but I think I'd rather spend the money on buying the Just Dance game for the wii. Besides, it's a more appropriate award for this event anyway. Anyway, I was able to get that stuff bought, plus a surprise for C's seminary graduation, then I got into some old boxes in the garage and found some cute school things for a display table. Rested, and feel a whole lot better today!! As I mentioned before, one big benefit of feeling sick is that the ww plan actually fills me up. I think this is the real reason I'm so happy about my loss today--in my experience being hungry is what makes the scale go down. It was nice to feel full and have it go down anyway.
Two good ww things. Every week I'm supposed to plot my weight and it shows on a graph. If I lose--the line on the graph goes down steeply. I get a congratulations! and the computer says some nice things. Well, last week I had to put in a 2 pound gain and I was please with how the ww site handled that. It said all the right things to me---don't worry, it's a normal part of the process, look over your week and see if there is anything that could have been done better (that was easy--less buffalo wings perhaps?) and then let it go and press on with the journey. Well done WW!!!
The other good ww thing are receipes. I meant to talk about this in yesterday's post. I love new receipes--especially finding healthy ones that are really good for me. When I worked at a library I began to notice all the healthy cookbooks and magazines that would come in and I began to do a little browsing started making some of the receipies--not because I was supposed to, but because the pictures looked so appetizing! Weight watchers has some amazing receipies--course the portions are all too small, but the food is great! I'm so glad I like to cook and experiement. I think this is a really hopeful sign that I might some day be able to live happily at goal weight. I've noticed a lot of the heavy people around me insist on eating from a very narrow band of food (rich of course), and won't even consider trying something made a different way. In a way I kind of understand this--for example, to my mind the chocolate chip is the king of cookies. But I was lucky--when my weight was at its worst I suddently realized that I was ONLY happy unless I had the right kind of chocolate chip cookie. It struck me that I was slowly becoming addicted to an increasingly narrow amount of food choices and that this was not a good thing. I didn't want to get to the place where I couldn't be content if I was at a party and the hostess made peanut-butter cookies. This was NOT about weight-loss--at the time I wasn't even trying to lose weight. It was about heading off an addiction and I'm so glad I did. I began to buy the rich shortbread cookies at the Panera restaraunt (probably much worse in terms of fat and calories than the chocolate chip) and I genuinely loved them. When my husband made applesauce raisin cookies (ok, but not a favorite), I really made it a point to have a glass of milk and enjoy the experience of eating them. Phew!! It was a narrow dodge, but I'm so glad I caught this. I truly love a HUGE variety of food and it really helps now that I'm trying to control what I eat that I CAN make things in different ways and am able to often fall in love with dishes that are better for me. This is not about eating fake food--it's about discovery. I LOVE munching on jicama. My current chicken enchilada dish (with the secret ingredient of cocoa) is much more delicious that my old receipe that relied on cream of chicken soup and sourcream. WW just gave me another simple good one for breakfast--raisin toast topped with a cream-cheese (mixed with splenda and vanilla) and topped with berries (I like more splenda on the berries). Some years ago I began a healthy receipe file--this file is extremely picky it only has receipes that I would eat if weight wasn't a problem. Everything has to be fabulous in it's own right. I guess, like everything else there is a balance--one can't fall in love with healthy food if one never takes the time to get used to it, but on the other hand if a person suddenly starts eating all kinds of stuff that feels weird to them that spells doom. I cringe when I hear fat people say things like "I won't eat vegetables." Well.....weight loss aside, that attitude makes it awfully difficult to nourish your body, and there are thousands and thousands of veggies and ways to fix them. It sounds kind of silly to put a blanket ban on a huge section of food. Similarily, although you might make the world's best lasagne--it might be worth trying to make a slightly healthier version at least sometimes. Enough preaching! I guess I just feel good that this is one healthy habit I've got down!!
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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