Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.

The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!

Thursday, August 30, 2012

529 example

Got to see some IE in action yesterday at a baby shower. 7 year old very skinny girl goes up to the treat buffet, takes one chocolate chip cookie--wanders around the room for a bit nibbling, then goes back to the buffet gets a plate and loads up on fruit. 18 month old brother gets a strawberry--mom says she doesn't like him to get the chocolate chip cookies because he only eats the chips out of them. PERFECT. Why can't I get the hang of that?

Tomorrow sybolizes what will one day be a success for me I hope. It's the block party at Weber and some restauraunts are coming with food for those who bought a ticket. Of course I bought a ticket. After work, we're going to Park City to celebrate Mom's house being done. This includes a three course meal at a fancy Italian restaurant. Someday, I want to look forward to a day like tomorrow--including looking forward to the food, WITHOUT thinking of it as an excuse to overeat. Amazing how powerful that feeling is. I'm not interested in honoring my hunger! I somehow think I'll be happier overeating. Will I be happier overeating? Not so very deep down, I'm afraid I think the answer is YES!

Maybe that's what I'll really look at tomorrow. If I overeat---how do I really feel? Will I really enjoy everything? and if the answer is an honest "YES" what do I do about that?

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