Ok---strange and unexpected diet detour COMPLETE. We celebrated our new found empty nest freedom with dinner at the union grill where I ate pretty much an entire wedge of Brie cheese. Happily, my fajitas were really mediocre--not that that stopped me from eating plenty, but it does help with the idea of future cravings. Today is really the first in a lot of ways. I finally got some sleep, and I have the whole day to do things that I want and need to do--practice the harp, study for my stats class, do some dancing on the wii (Just dance is a HECK of a workout), work on Catherine's mural ,and reorganize at least one thing in the house. This house is so tiny that it's a constant battle to keep things from overflowing. Plus there are a lot of shelves and things that have stuff on them, but it isn't really the best stuff that could be there.
Food-wise. Sheesh. I had hoped today could be a fresh start with an easily planned day. Nope. Me and Dave have to go to the educators picnic tonight. It's a good thing--we need to make some friends, and it will be ok food-wise too because I will plan lots of points for it and be careful. But still.... Sometimes (ok, all the time) I wish the whole business would be easier!
Yesterday was the famous flash mob. It was fun. My performance was a mediocre as it could be, but fun just the same. Also at the block party was Justin--the latest winner from The Biggest Loser! My RS meetings are smack in the middle of the show so I haven't caught the last few seasons. Still, it was interesting to talk to him! They work out 4 to 8 hours a day. And there is NO counseling or psychological support AT ALL!! I thought there was at least a little!! What a disservice!! If there's one thing I'm convinced of it is that food and exercise are only a very SMALL part of the problem. Losing weight isn't about watching what you eat as much as it is about things like courage, patience, grief, fear, guilt, anger and every other emotion. Justin told me how much harder it is to be at home with pressure from family and friends to be the person he used to be. He doesn't want to go back, but it sounds like the show gave him zero help in moving forward. I'll have to look up the episode recaps. This kind of thing makes me so mad. He seemed like a nice guy. I hope he can maintain his success, but his odds aren't very good. The thing I need to do is to stop being so angry on other people's behalf and DO something about it. In this case lose weight myself AND get my book out there! Even if the only copy I ever sell is to my mother, I can at least try.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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