DOWN!!! I went down another pound! 189!!! I love shifting into a new set of numbers. And I love that mentally, I didn't have to "will" this into being. My mind and heart have certainly been everywhere else this week. I went through the motions--and it was enough! This is especially gratifying considering all the food I inhaled last Saturday (boy was that good).
I was surprised that yesterday's salad for lunch was actually satisfying. I think I'm slowly adjusting to lite and fat-free dressings--at least the Italian kind. At home we discovered Ken's light steak house dressing. Anyway--being satisfied brings up a little resistance all its own. In my mind I guess I've always had an "us and them" kind mentality and have taken a kind of pride in it. I've always belonged to the "us" group. The group that knows what it is to really enjoy a good pizza feast. The "us" group never eats diet dressings (blech), and we sneer at those who "can't" finish a restaraunt meal. We are adventurous eaters and usually good cooks. We appreciate real cheese, we make THE brownies to die for and have little respect for anyone who doesn't have the sense to enjoy the good things in life.
The "them" group usually looks really good and we envy their clothes and bodies with all of our cholesterol burdened hearts. They get up early to work out (while we get to sleep in), they do things like eat salads for lunch, get full after three bites at a restaraunt and think that mediocre brownies are something special.
It's weird to transition into being one of "them". Doing things like having that salad for lunch yesterday is clearly a "them" thing to do. I'll have to remember that "them" is a big group of people. Some of them ARE sadly limited in their food enjoyment and discovery. But others, like my friend Sarah who is a superstar athlete, make a fudge brownie cake to die for. One reason Sarah exercises as she does is specifically so she CAN enjoy all the things I love--full fat butters, cheeses and specialty desserts. That's the kind of "them" I can appreciate.
And what's so wonderful about being unsatisfied with a normal portion anyway? Since when did gluttony become something to be proud of? Gluttony was one of the original seven deadly sins. I can still become a true gourmand if I want to be--that is someone who loves discovering great food and is very discriminating. I probably will never have the money to actually become a gourmand--after all real truffle oils from Italy are very expensive, but I do not have to give up appreciating great food. And I don't need to give up eating a lot of it (at least from time to time) either!
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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