I'm entertaing hopes that Catherine won't qualify for army anyway--among other things she has asthma. I'll be calling the recruiter later. I want to be very careful to handle this in the right way. She feels strongly about this and I hope I can help her find other ways to satisfy what she's looking for if the army isn't an option. I won't be able to do that if I'm bouncing around the house with joy.
Anyway---back to weight loss, if only with 1% of my mental energy. Still on track. I met with Kayla and set up a weight training program on Monday. She was so great. I expected to feel big and clumsy and awkward anyway and Kayla weighs maye 95 pounds--but I didn't. She was so accepting and made everything seem easy and told me so often that I was doing well that I felt that I was doing well. It was fun. I'll probably start next week---I don't like the sound of that too much like procrastination, but what with Catherine and trying to paint her room on top of everything else, there honestly hasn't been time. Yesterday though, I did take the time to go to a dance practice for a flash mob I'm in. SOOOO fun! But hard! I've never danced before. It was a solid hour workout. I"m still walking to work everyday too and my food has been on track. It's nice---all my clothes are getting loose and I feel skinny. I don't know if I'm responding to physical changes or if I've just been upset this week, but I'm not very obsessed with food this week. As I was preparing lunch, I was rejecting a lot of things because they just seemed like they were too much or too heavy. I'm hungry now, but I still don't want more than my modest lunch--yogurt, deli meats with cream cheese, a pear and 4 wasa crisps with a little butter.
I got another verification that my super slow weight loss speed is actually not so slow at all!!! My insurance is right on track. There is an obnoxious pop-up ad online advertising SENSA! Lose 30 pounds in just six months!!! Uhhhhh that's 30 pounds in 26 weeks---not all that impressive--barely over a pound a week. Anyone can do that without SENSA. And yet, YES! 30 pounds in six months would be awesome!! So would 20 pounds. Since April 1, I've gone from 208 to 191--it feels almost hopelessly slow--but in reality It's 17 pounds in 17 weeks--faster than the miracle SENSA product, and I've been on vacation too.
Slow is only an illusion--and it's nice now that I've lost a little, I can genuinely enjoy this level of slimness even if more doesn't come off very fast.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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