PHEW!! My boss brought in a "food treat" today as a reward for our staff winning a contest a few months ago. I was nervous that this would entail a full blown fattening lunch. But I didn't know, so I brought in a very good lunch just in case. YEA!! She brought in frozen custard in fruit flavors (can easily say no to that) and some big cheese danish crossaints (not to easy to say no to those). Happily, it's all in the kitchen closed to view and better yet, in the fridge really closed to view. I think I can handle this one. Better yet, I WANT to handle this one. Yesterday I was fully back on track and my workout was great. I want to see 190--or, dizzy with excitement--189. It will come. I feel good---after just 129 days I feel some measure of confidence that I know what to do, I CAN do it, and success will come. It's a really good feeling.
Yesterday someone else brought in a selection of really good brownies and lemon bars from her sister's wedding. NO problem for once! I wasn't hungry--and as a "dessert" for lunch I had literally a small sliver of the german chocolate brownie and I was actually ok with that. I'll do the same with the cheese danishes if they are floating around out in the kitchen. If not, maybe I'll skip them altogether. One of the guys I work with here is a terrific example. He's a real health nut and actually does things like skip whole work potlucks altogether except for maybe a few vegetables. I dont' feel as though I need to do that, but it's nice to see that it CAN be done! He hasn't withered away, or turned into a sour sad little man all crabbed with deprivation. He remains a nice guy even WITHOUT work treats. Amazing. It helps too that he's a guy making this effort--not just another woman who looks deprived. I have real problems with the idea that only women have to watch what they eat. It's simply not true and I know it, but it still is nice to watch a guy be so careful about his food.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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