Wow. The scriptures say that in the last days "men's hearts will fail them." No kidding. I think my own family problems are awful, and they are, but I seem to be meeting person after person after person who are dealing with spectacular problems of their own and are just on the brink of going over some kind of mental edge. Yesterday was a hard day for me--busy at work and being forced to write an email to my Dad that was very difficult for me to write and even more difficult for me to hear the answer to. Came home and immediatley when visiting teaching---one sister ready to burst into tears at the drop of a hat (has been this way for weeks now) because she finally told her alchoholic boyfriend to leave but she still loves him--huge history there, the other sister has unbeliveable health problems, has to have bladder surgery literally every 3 or 4 months, they have no money and the husband has severe unaffordable health problems too. Others in the ward are suffering too. So, I guess at least I'm in good company. The difficulty as pertains to staying on course at all is that in addition to emotional eating impulses, is that it's difficult to even care. The easy thing to do is eat.
The solution I think, is that it's ok to go on auto-pilot. It helps to actually get online on the ww site and put in my plan with my points. I've planned it on on paper sometimes and it just doesn't seem to quite make the same impression on my mind. So that helps me plan my food, this blog helps me put the emotions out. Sean's and other blogs encourage me to keep going, and my success so far encourages me not to throw it away on some stupid binge. I am up a little today--no surprise there, but I'm happy that I'm on track and dont' have to worry, I thoroughly enjoyed my Saturday, and can feel confident that I'll keep moving forward anyway.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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