Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Sunday, April 3, 2011

orange rolls and fajitas

Second day--not bad.  It's general conference--that means those yummy orange rolls from the tube.  My preference is to eat about 5 or 6, but even I'm willing to admit that a serving of two is reasonable.  I had two, and also two fajitas for dinner and a BLT for lunch plus other goodies.  I made sure to put in a 1/2 hour on the wii so I could have one more point for the day and I'm really ok---more than ok right now in fact.  I made some yummy apple pie things with phyllo dough.  YUM!  Another benefit, Catherine picked up some weight over Christmas and it's sticking.  She's quite excited and has been calculating points and following along.  The WW tracking system might work really well for her---she loves lists and checking things off.  She's trying to fit into a graduation dress--I'll do all I can to help her.  I do love my daughter and I want to set a better example for her.  Some nice surprises---horseradish sauce is almost nothing!  Bacon and ham are doable too.  Pita bread, which I love, is also fine, and C made some sourdough bread which turns out to be only 1 pt a slice. Today, I'm grateful for hope and people and organizations that try to help.  I realize that I'm in the "honeymoon" phase.  I've been here before--this will wear off in a week or two to be replaced by drudgery and boredom.  However, I think I'm more prepared for the long haul---I KNOW this will take a long time, I KNOW I won't like it, and I know I'll be discouraged by lack of success, but also derailed by having some success and wanting to relax and think it's enough.  I don't trust myself yet to say that I'm determined to make it---I never have before after all, but I'm encouraged.  Worst case, at least my clothes will start to fit again before I fall off the wagon. Tomorrow I want a reeses peanut butter cup.  I very rarely have them--maybe I will find ways to have them more often.
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