Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Monday, April 25, 2011

Easter

It was a powerful Easter.  Food-wise, I did great--did not graze but ate what I wanted and kept track and it wasn't so much over either.  But all that was irrelevant yesterday.  The son of one of the leading families in the ward killed himself on Saturday.  Everyone is in shock.  Tammy, his mom, used to be my visiting teaching companion--Catherine was at a service project with Troy on that Saturday morning.  I don't know if his poor parents had any warning--if  Troy struggled with depression or anything, but I certainly had no idea of anything amiss.  All I could think yesterday was that it could so easily have been Catherine.  It wasn't easy for her to make all the moves she's made during her life and the move here was especially hard.  Her school is cliqueish and there's no one her age in young womens.  I wanted to hang on to her yesterday and never let go. Instead we booked some fun things to do on our upcoming Aruba trip, had a lovely Easter dinner and played some games as a family.  I feel incredibly blessed and desperate to do something for the Taylors.  I'm doing the only thing I really can and that is to fast for them today.  As I was looking over the congregation yesterday all I could think was how important each one of us is. I didn't even know Troy really (probably part of the problem, poor soul), but his loss leaves a huge hole. Those poor parents.  Kind and decent people.
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